My client gave me permission to share this story. During a recent organizing session we were sorting and editing when she came across one item that she wasn’t sure what to do with. She wanted to keep it, but didn’t have a place or category to pair it with.

To figure out the puzzle, I asked some questions to learn more about the item and it’s significance to her. Within a few minutes she determined that it was something she might bring out for her children to play with (supervision needed) when they had a short time to play. After a few more questions, she decided that containing it in a box with a label and storing it in her closet would work.

Just to recap, we discovered an item without a home, discussed what it was about, and determined the best way and place to store it. Labeling the box was key. What’s in a name? In this case, she came up with a label name that’s one of the best ones I’ve ever typed in the 20+ years I’ve been organizing. It says,

“15 Minutes of Fun!”

I love that. Now I want a box with that name.

What does this have to do with letting go? How often do you feel you need hours or days to have fun, get organized, or ____________  (fill in the blank)? Because you don’t, you postpone fun. You postpone organizing. You postpone moving forward. The reality is that in a short time you can enjoy, do a lot, or even a little. Days are segmented. We feel like we’re supposed to work or play in long time blocks. We don’t often have the luxury of endless, continuous hours.

The next time you’re thinking that you don’t have time to __________, remember the “15 Minutes of Fun” box and see if you can motivate yourself to use the short burst of time that you do have.

I’d love to hear your thoughts. What resonates with you? Come join the conversation.

Do you wish your kids were more organized? Do you get frustrated trying to help them? I was curious about how others taught and transferred organizing skills to their own children. So, I enlisted help from a wonderful group of colleagues (Stephanie Calahan, Leslie Josel, Helena Alkhas, Ellen Delap, Yota Schneider, Diana Quintana and Aby Garvey.) I asked them, “What organizing success strategy have you passed on to your children? How did you accomplish that?”  Their responses are motivating and inspiring. My gratitude goes to each of them for sharing their personal stories with us. If you want your children to become more organized, keep reading to discover some kid-tested organizing success tips that might work for you.

What organizing success strategy have you passed on to your children? How did you accomplish that? . . .

7 Kid-Tested Organizing Success Tips

1. Small Steps

“Ever since my son was small we have worked with him to understand how to take big projects and break them into simple doable steps. For example, cleaning his bathroom breaks down into gathering the supplies needed and then cleaning the mirror, counter, sink, tub/shower, toilet and floor. We did this by sitting with him and having him think through the steps and we'd fill in the blanks when he would get stuck. Now that he is twelve, we use the same strategy for his school and extra curricular activities. We found that by giving him the opportunity to think it through first, he is quite independent with most of his work and often gets it done ahead of schedule because he has thought through the variables.“

Stephanie LH Calahan– The Big Vision Catalyst, Business Strategist, Author and Producer

2. Prompts

“The organizing success strategy that I’ve taught my children is to use external prompts to remind them of tasks or responsibilities they need to get done. So if they need to do homework, call a friend, walk the dog, put dinner in the oven, etc. They’ve been taught to set timers, phones, alarms, or use visual and written prompts. I started teaching them this strategy by asking them the question, “How are you going to remember to…” and having them work out the strategy that would best fit the task. It’s not enough to ask them to do something but ask them how they are going to remember or prompt themselves to do it.”

Leslie Josel – ADHD Specialist & Author

3. Routines

“I am a believer in having routines to structure our time, know what comes next and to be more productive. We have a clear routine that "guides" us through the day and the kids grew up with that. From the moment they wake up, through going to school and back, all the way to going to bed at night we follow a "self-care/school" checklist that helps them cross the dots of daily life and lets them know when is work time, when is play time. This also teaches them to be independent and to self-guide. As a parent it is my hope that this will stay with them and help them when they have to leave and be on their own.”

Helena Alkhas– Professional Organizer & Virtual Assistant

4. Practice

“My kids are amazing, organized parents! They are list makers with a family calendar in their kitchens. They organize not only their closets, but also their children’s clothes.  Each has a file cabinet with easy access, simple filing. How did this happen?  It’s all about talking the talk and walking the walk.  Living in a home with organized parents created the expectation that organizing is an important life skill.  We focused on strengths, talked about organizing, and down played perfectionism.  They practiced as teens and young adults.  Now as parents of young children they have created organizing solutions in their own homes.”

Ellen Delap, CPO®  – Professional Organizer, Productivity Consultant & Family Manager Coach

5. Preparation

“August is traditionally Back to School month and there's tremendous marketing pressure to get out there and buy. The girls, high school juniors, know that I'm not going Back to School shopping unless they've inventoried their closets and desks, assessed their needs and wants, and de-cluttered their space.

Piles of paper, old homework and folders head to the recycling bin, used up school supplies are thrown away, and clothes they've outgrown and are usable head to the donation pile. Next, they create a prioritized list of their needs and wants. I assure them that they'll always get what they need and occasionally what they want. What they’ve learned is that, in order to make room for the new, we simply have to let go of the old and outdated!"

Yota Schneider, Seasons of Change Certified Master Coach – Life Transitions Coach, Workshops & Retreat Facilitator, Blogger, & Mindfulness Meditation Practitioner

6. Completion

“There is a saying that goes like this: Don’t put it down, put it away. I used this saying over and over with my two boys. When they were very young I asked them to put something away when they were finished with it. This translated to games they were playing with when they were very young. As they grew older this saying could also be applied to things like clothes (in a laundry basket or hung up), dishes in the dishwasher, homework in the correct binder, and taking things they belonged to them back to their rooms.”

Diane N. Quintana, CPO®, CPO-CD®– Professional Organizer & Author

7. Letting Go

“By organizing and decluttering with my kids since they were very young, I've taught them how to let go of things they no longer use or love. For one of my kids, letting go didn't come easy. It required a lot of patience and a long-term focus on my part, as we spent hours going through her stuffed animals, clothing, toys, and books. I always let my kids make the decisions, and never let go of anything behind their backs. In the process, I've taught them that letting go is a natural part of life and maintained their trust.”

Aby Garvey – Professional Organizer, Author, & Online Class Instructor

I love this collection of strategies from my colleagues! As a parent with two daughters in college and beyond, I have spent a lot of time teaching them organizing skills. The investment was worthwhile. I marvel at how they’ve integrated those skills regularly and naturally into their lives. Here are some more articles about transferring organizing skills to our children:

Failing Your Way to Success by Linda Samuels

Moms’ “To Do” Lists by Linda Samuels

Cutting the Organizing Umbilical Cord by Leslie Josel

11 Tips to Conquer Your Child’s Clutter by Aby Garvey

Which organizing success tips resonate with you? Do you have additional ones to share? Come join the conversation.

Last fall, I came across an article in the New York Times by Paul Tough called, What if the secret to success is failure? It was about rethinking how students should be taught and evaluated. Especially as a parent, I find this idea of allowing space for our children to fail along the journey as essential. It's challenging for many of us to do because we don't want to see our children suffer or struggle. However, if we can step back, encourage, and let our kids figure life out with some guidance and minimal hovering, amazing growth will occur.

This was an unusual week for us. We watched as both of our daughters’ successfully navigated major transitions. We were there to provide emotional and minimal hands-on support, but they orchestrated all of the decisions, even when they weren’t 100% sure.

Our youngest daughter negotiated her first apartment lease for her and three roommates, organized (including her shoe organizing solution for her bedroom without a closet) and packed all her belongings, moved in, and set-up her new digs a few days before starting her fall semester of college.

Our oldest daughter, a recent college graduate, networked, explored many next step options from teaching English in South Korea to working on a farm in Oregon, was offered a job in her field (textiles) in New York, organized and packed her apartment, rented a truck, and moved back to New York all within three days.

We raised our kids to be independent and encouraged them to try even when they weren't sure. We invited them to make the best decisions possible based on the information and knowledge they had at that time. We also let them know that if the outcome wasn’t as they hoped, they could make changes. We always looked at failures, both theirs and ours, as learning opportunities.

We have all experienced our share of disappointments, failures, and mishaps. Whatever you call them, they are unavoidable. They are in fact, necessary. Our failures tell us as much about what we don’t want as they reveal about what we do want. If we allow them, our failures teach us how to tweak, to explore, and to be less fearful of making mistakes. We can then experience the joy of success.

The next time you feel the need to rescue someone, take a deep breath, and give them room to explore and fail their way to success. What are your thoughts? How have your failures influenced your success?

Photo by Linda SamuelsYears ago I heard Dan Thurmon speak at a NAPO conference. He is a dynamic, entertaining speaker and author that juggles, flips, and rides unicycles while delivering his keynote. His book, Off Balance on Purpose, challenges the unrealistic goal that life should be balanced.

Much of my writing focuses on finding a balance that’s right for you. The idea of feeling balanced 100% of the time is unattainable. It’s not even desirable.  The search for balance is a constant negotiation between a state of unrest or chaos and that feeling of calm or flow. It’s essential to experience both calm and chaos. They each serve a purpose.

Without some tumult, we become complacent and too content. We stop searching for solutions or growth possibilities. I’m certainly an advocate for knowing how to just be, but that’s within the context of long-term growth.

With abundant chaos, we become so stressed and ineffectual that we can easily ignore our basic needs for self-care. If life becomes a constant state of activity with no time to restore, think, or just be, we lose our focus and energy.

So how does one find that right balance? The balance I’m referring to is really your particular mix of tumult and calm that fits your life, goals and needs at any given point in time. Thinking back to raising our family, life was far more hectic than it is now. The stretches of feeling like things were “out of whack,” were much longer than the calmer parts. Now being an empty nester, while life is still full, the periods of calm are longer. The mix has changed.

Balance between these extremes is not a done deal. It’s really a matter of what we choose to focus on at any given point. In this photo of the forest, the foreground is sharp and clearly delineated, while the background is foggy and hard to see. This mirrors our lives. The shift between chaos and calm comes from what we give our attention to. As our needs change, so does our focus. Pay attention to the clues, which will help you identity when it might be time for re-balancing.

When do you know it’s time to shift your balance? What are your clues?