It’s fairly common not to notice. We get used to the environment we live in and ignore problematic areas and situations. Our piles of clutter blend in with the walls and furniture. Searching for misplaced belongings is our norm. Mindfulness becomes a missing ingredient in our days.

Something surprising happened to me recently, and it made me think about this idea of what we notice or don’t. It was a gorgeous weekend day. I was outside happily trimming one of our shrubs. After about ten minutes, slightly below my eye level, I was surprised by an enormous bright green praying mantis perched quietly on a leafy branch. Being almost the same color as the shrub, she blended right in. I took her photo and continued trimming as she sat. I moved around several times to cut other sprigs and then returned to see if the praying mantis was still there. It always took me a few seconds to find her because she was so well camouflaged. Yet in the next moment, nestled in the greenery, she came into my view.

Let’s revisit the mindfulness idea. What do you notice? What things are invisible, even though they are right before you? One of the questions I ask clients during our first conversation is, “What prompted your call?”  While the exact reasons vary tremendously, there is one common thread. They reached a tipping point where they could no longer ignore their overwhelm, clutter, or disorganization. The blinders were off, and their challenges were fully visible.

“For change to happen, we first need awareness.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO

For change to happen, we first need awareness. Without being mindful about our challenges, we are like that camouflaged praying mantis. We can’t change what we don't see. Noticing isn’t enough, though. We also need a desire and motivation to change. Even with seeing our challenges, desiring change, and feeling motivated, we might also need help. So if you are at that point of overwhelm, awareness, and readiness, but are feeling stuck, reach out for help from a trusted friend, family member, or professional organizer like me. 

What has become visible to you that had been hiding from your view? In what ways does mindfulness influence your daily experience? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

Dynamic thought leaders are featured for the “Ask the Expert” interview series. In the past, we’ve spoken with experts including Todd Henry about next steps, Joshua Becker about fresh starts, David Allen about time management, and Gretchen Rubin about life balance. For May, I’m excited to have with us author, professional organizer, speaker, and Holocaust educator, Felice Cohen to share her insights about clutter.

Several months ago, I had the pleasure of meeting Felice when we taped an organizing segment for the “Let’s Talk With Jodi!” show, airing this June.  Aside from being fascinated by Felice’s tiny apartment living experience, I enjoyed her wonderful sense of humor and practical ideas about organizing. Before we begin the interview, here is more about her.

Felice Cohenis an author of five books, a professional organizer, motivational speaker,  and Holocaust educator. You might have seen Felice in the YouTube video of her 90-square foot Manhattan studio. She moved into that small space for one reason: the low rent allowed her to quit her full-time job and finish writing her first book. She planned to stay only one year, but something happened during that time. Her life improved. 

When the YouTube video went viral, people asked for her advice on organizing and decluttering, and praised her philosophy about “living large” in a small space. That was the motivation for her second book, 90 Lessons for Living Large in 90 Square Feet (…or more), which tells how living tiny made her life larger, but it also offers lessons on how to live the life you want in any size space.

You can connect with Felice on Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn, Pinterest, blog, or website.

Linda Samuels: You pursued your dream of moving to Manhattan and becoming a writer. To afford that life, you chose to live in a tiny space with a minimal amount of stuff. What is one of the lessons you learned about living clutter free?

Felice Cohen:In truth, I planned only to stay one year in that tiny space, but at the end of that first year, I discovered that living tiny and living with less gave me more. More time to do what I loved like writing, cycling, going to the theater, traveling. Plus, my stress went down. I no longer had to work long hours at a job I didn’t love to pay for extra space I didn’t need. As a result, my happiness went up, and I wound up staying 5 years.

Linda: In your book, 90 Lessons for Living Large in 90 Square Feet (…or more), you talk about the “Buh bye” concept, which you found helpful when you worked with organizing clients. Can you describe what it is and what made it useful?

Felice:Getting rid of stuff can be hard. We are attached to things for many reasons, some because they’re sentimental or because we think we might need them. The “buh bye” concept adds humor to what can be a tough activity. When my clients say, “buh bye” out loud as they put something into the giveaway pile or in the trash, it not only lightens the mood, but it empowers them as though they’re saying, “I don’t need you. Buh bye!”

Linda: Some of us tend to accumulate more than we release, which can result in clutter. Can you share some advice to encourage us to let go?

Felice:Start by asking yourself: “What do I want my home to look like?” Everything in its place? No piles on the counters? Closets you can open without the fear of something falling on your head? Keep that image in mind as you work. Remind yourself this is your home, you should be happy there. It’s not easy to get out from under clutter, but it’s doable. Take baby steps. Also, as we grow up and get older, our lives change, and so do our tastes and passions and goals. You might be holding onto things from a previous chapter in your life. By letting them go, you’re making room for new chapters.

Linda: What is your most surprising discovery about clutter?

Felice:About how clutter has a huge effect on people, both mentally and emotionally. Clutter can cause depression and stress. It can also keep you from being productive and happy. Many people want to get rid of the clutter, but it can be overwhelming when you don’t know where to begin. Seeing clutter also tells your brain “you should clean this up” and makes you feel bad for not doing it. The trick is not to beat yourself up.

Linda: What has been your biggest personal challenge around clutter?

Felice: I’m a very sentimental person so holding onto things from my past is my Achilles heel. Things like letters from friends and my varsity high school jacket. This stuff is still in my childhood bedroom on Cape Cod where I now spend my summers. At the beginning of every summer, when I get to my parents’ house, I spend a few hours the first weekend going through all of it. And every summer I get rid of a lot. I’m down to 2 totes from 10. Sometimes it takes us a while to get rid of stuff. Every year I get further and further from that time in my life, and it gets easier to let it go. 

Linda: Is there anything you’d like to share about clutter that I haven’t asked?

Felice:  At the end of the day it’s not about the clutter, but about you. If you’re okay with the piles and the disorganization, fine. But if you’re not, do something about it. It’s not easy, but it’s not rocket science. Put on music that gets you moving and try to get rid of 5 things a day, whether for trash or donation. After a week that’s 35 things. That’s a lot.

Thank you, Felice, for joining us. You shared so many inspiring ideas and showed us that for you having less clutter and space equated to lower stress, more happiness, and time to pursue what you loved doing. It’s clear that you understand how letting go of things can be challenging. I love your suggestion to release five items a day and notice how quickly that yields significant results. As you said, “By letting them go, you’re making room for new chapters.”

Join Felice and me as we continue the conversation. What resonates with you?

Change can manifest in many ways. Sometimes it’s about embracing new challenges, pursuing major life choices, or altering perspectives. Not always but often, breaking unhealthy habits, and developing positive ones are integral to our path to change. Our bad habits can revolve around addictive behaviors like smoking and stress eating. Habits can extend to other forms such as continually checking our digital devices, being chronically late, or perpetuating our disorganization. 

In this short Ted Talk video, “A Simple Way to Break a Bad Habit,” psychiatrist Judson Brewer talks about the relationship between mindfulness and addiction. He explains how habits develop and shares a profound discovery, which will help you alter your actions. Brewer’s strategy uses a combination of mindfulness and curiosity to generate a better mind/body awareness, which ultimately can result in healthier habits.

Watch this video . . .

A Simple Way to Break a Bad Habit – Judson Brewer, MD, PhD

What is your experience with habit change? Is this an area you struggle with? What has worked for you? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Join the conversation!

If you’re feeling overwhelmed with disorganization, with life seeming not quite right, or with wanting a change, but not knowing where to begin, you’ve come to the right place. The idea of change can paralyze us. We have the tools, but ignore the clues that daily life gives us. We move so fast that we don’t notice the indicators. Can you identify with this?

It’s not uncommon to go through our busy days on autopilot. We set up systems and patterns for convenience and efficiency, but as time goes on, things change. The systems that once worked no longer do. Or, the systems haven’t been maintained, so they no longer function. Maybe we never established effective systems in the first place. But we keep going. We ignore that things don’t feel right. Our piles of clutter irritate us, but we ignore them. We’re annoyed that we can’t get out of the door on time, but we keep getting out late each day anyway. We’re experiencing stress due to the disorganization on a regular basis, but we stuff those feelings away. Status quo has taken over and the way forward eludes us.

I’m proposing one simple, but not necessarily easy technique. Use mindfulness to help you focus on which changes to make. When we’re mindful of the present moment, we increase our awareness of our moment-by-moment experience. After all, how can we make a change if we aren’t fully aware of our challenges? I invite you to slow down. Instead of ignoring irritations during your day, note them. You don’t need to dwell on them, but increase your awareness of them. These will be your clues for identifying potential areas to change.

For example, let’s say that every day you are about to leave the house and you can’t find your keys. So each morning you go through the “hunting for keys” scenario, which in turn makes you late getting to your appointment. You’re annoyed and stressed, but you keep going anyway, repeating the same pattern day after day. You stuff that stress away. This isn’t healthy harboring this type of daily stress.

However, consider this one small tweak. Activate some mindfulness. Instead, the next time you’re late getting out of the door, notice what’s going on. Start by being present with the issue. Be mindful of your actions. What are you feeling? What are you doing? Use mindfulness to help you identify potential indicators for change. By living more mindfully, you can figure out strategies to help solve the “lost keys” and other challenges. You may be surprised when you become more aware and present. You might just notice where you stashed your keys when you come home at night. Or you might decide that it’s time to give your keys a “home” so that you can always find them.

Beginning with awareness is the key. What have you noticed about change? Have you used mindfulness in the process? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Come join the conversation!