Have you ever been disappointed by an experience you’ve had? If so, you’re not alone. Would you like to learn some ways to turn an unsuccessful experience into a successful one? One small change can make an enormous difference. I was curious about my colleagues’ ideas, so I reached out to this fabulous international group – Seana Turner, Nacho Eguiarte, Jill Robson, Diane Quintana, Ellen Delap, Janet Barclay, and Cris Sgrott-Wheedleton.

I asked them, “What is one essential ingredient needed to have a successful experience?”  Their responses are unique and inspiring. My deepest gratitude goes to each of them for sharing their wisdom with us.

What is one essential ingredient needed to have a successful experience? . . .

Flexibility

“Life is rarely 100% predictable, so I believe the key to having a positive experience is flexibility. This doesn’t mean failing to make plans. Quite the opposite! Having a scaffold of structure in place allows me to nimbly respond to the unforeseen, to keep going when I hit a roadblock, and to enjoy (rather than dread) surprises. So often we are discouraged or disheartened by unexpected developments, but some of the best times I’ve ever had were when I showed up prepared, but also open to whatever the next step might be.”

Seana Turner – Professional Organizer, Blogger & Public Speaker

Attitude

“No matter what recipe you’re making for dinner you’ll always need some salt. That would be a key ingredient. So the “salt" in having a successful experience for me is attitude. With a good attitude you can overcome every possible bad situation, and with a good attitude you can upgrade a good situation into a fabulous experience. No matter what, attitude is a must.” 

Nacho Equiarte – Professional Organizer, Architect, Grieving Counselor & Blogger

Acknowledgement

“How has the experience made you feel? Did you feel heard? I think most of us have a successful experience when we feel we have been listened to. How often do we need help or advice and we feel that the person is not really listening, just giving a stock answer? I know in my occupation, I have spoken with other organizers on how we communicate with our clients, and it is our listening skills that are just as important as our organizing skills.”

Jill Robson – Professional Organizer & Blogger

Positivity

“One of the most important ingredients to having a successful experience is your attitude. Think about it this way, you’ve set your goal, you know the steps to take to achieve your goal, and you’ve decided that it’s going to be difficult to achieve. Your attitude is such that from the outset you’re predicting failure. So, your journey towards your goal will probably be beset with bumps in the road, which turn into mountains because you’ve doomed yourself from the start. However, if you switch the channel deciding that this goal is worthwhile and that you’re going to achieve it your attitude is positive. There may be bumps in the road but you will overcome them and the journey itself will be a positive learning experience.”

Diane Quintana, CPO®, CPO-CD® – Certified Professional Organizer, Author & Speaker

Readiness

“A successful experience begins with a readiness for new perspectives. When a client begins our work together ready for change, it makes change happen. They are alert and aware of possibilities and reflect actively on this as well as during our session and after we conclude.  Success comes in baby steps with small changes they make as a result.”

Ellen Delap, CPO® – Professional Organizer & Productivity Consultant 

Confidence

“To achieve success, I have to believe in myself and my ability to accomplish that which I’m trying to do. Reminding myself of similar challenges I’ve overcome in the past can be very helpful, so I file complimentary messages I receive in a special folder in my email program and re-read them whenever I need to boost my self-confidence.”

Janet Barclay, MVA – Web Designer, Blogger & Virtual Marketing Assistant

Willingness

“I think any successful experience starts with a willingness to make a change and experience something new. I personally, never like to go through any change.  I am very resistant to doing things differently. It is part of my personality. However, I have learned over the years, that my personal growth and success can be directly attributed to making life transitions and embracing change. Now, I just acknowledge to myself that I don’t like to change, but I also acknowledge that there is a possibility that it will be good for me. I give it a try, and most of the time I embrace it, and it becomes habit. I recommend my clients to try small changes, one little one at the time.”

Cris Sgrott-Wheedleton, CPO®, CPO-CD® – Professional Organizer & Blogger 

Having a successful experience can feel illusive. With the wonderful concepts that my colleagues shared, you now have some new ways to approach your experiences. Whether you choose to adjust your attitude, be more flexible, or embrace the changes, a successful outcome is possible for you. For me, one ingredient that colors all others is my attitude. If I go forth with optimism and positivity, it flavors my experiences with exactly that. So even if the outcome differs from the plan, I can view it as a learning experience instead of a failure.

Which ideas resonate with you? What is one essential ingredient you need to have a successful experience? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Come join the conversation!

This month’s topic on the blog is embracing change. Change has various meanings at different times. It might be a small step towards something larger. Perhaps it’s jumping in feet first to a new venture or adventure. Or, change (welcome or unwelcome) might occur without proactively seeking it. Change means that things are different. Change means there’ll be transitions and adjustments, which can be challenging or not.

When I think about the changes that are happening internally and externally, the one word that keeps popping up is flexibility. While I often have to work at being flexible, when I’m able to, it helps me to navigate change’s turbulence.

The winter snowstorms we’ve been experiencing this season (and more’s on the way, folks) continue to cause plans to change. Schools get closed. Clients need to reschedule. Flights get cancelled. The things we thought we’d be doing get altered. Remaining flexible actually can helps us figure out next steps, embrace the change, and the serendipity of the “found” time. Flexibility yields wonderful surprises.

What connection have you noticed between flexibility and change? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Come join the conversation.

It’s a popular time of year to reflect back and imagine forward. If you’re thinking about change and balance, you’re not alone. Finding a balance that feels right for you includes combining a mix of ingredients. I was interested in looking at a range of perspectives on this topic, so I reached out to a generous group of colleagues (Joshua Becker, Leslie Josel, Erin Doland, Andrea Sharb, Judith Kolberg, Janine Adams, Janet Barclay, Ellen Delap, Sue West, Aby Garvey, Yota Schneider). I asked them, “With the arrival of the New Year, what do you want more of and less of to create your desired balance?” Their responses are interesting and motivating. My deepest gratitude goes to each of them for digging deep and sharing with us their plans for next year. If you’re wondering how to create more balance, keep reading for some inspired ideas.

With the arrival of the New Year, what do you want more of and less of  to create your desired balance? . . .

More Focus : Less Distraction

“More focus on the important things. Less distraction on the little.”

Joshua Becker – Founder of Becoming Minimalist

More Quiet : Less Noise

“My perfect balance would be MORE time, patience, deliberate decision-making, gratitude and quiet.  I could use a lot LESS useless noise, reactionary decision-making, pressure and distractions.  With those in place, the rest would hopefully fall into place!”

Leslie Josel – ADHD Coach, Author, & Speaker

More Sleep : Less Deprivation

“When you regularly get the sleep your body needs at night, you have more energy and are a better decision maker during the day. It's even easier to put things away after using them and keep up with chores when getting good sleep. With a three month old, I haven't been getting the sleep my body and brain crave to function at their best. In 2014, I need more sleep. I need to go to bed earlier each night so I can better accomplish my goals and feel better during the day. Good, quality sleep is like gaining super powers. I recommend it for everyone, not just moms with children.”

Erin Doland – Editor-in-Chief at Unclutter.com

More Simplicity : Less Stuff

“I'm at a point in my life where I'm actively embracing the idea of less and am pursuing a ‘smaller’, more focused life: less stuff, simpler lifestyle, and fewer activities & commitments.  Having a less complicated lifestyle will yield more time and energy for what matters most to me these days: personal connections, healthy living, following my curiosity, learning, practicing and continuing to create a business model that most authentically represents my values and appeals to the needs of my clients.”

Andrea Sharb, CPO-CD®, ACC®, COC® & CPO® – Professional Organizer & Productivity/ADHD Coach

More Sacrifice : Less Stress

“If we're too tipped to the side of fun in life and we neglect our work commitments, that is a kind of imbalance that can cause all sorts of stress such as unpaid bills, debt, not seeing things through, or a reputation for being unreliable. On the other hand, if we work ourselves to death and don't tip things over to the fun, relaxing, recreating side of life, we can likewise be unhappy and stressed. So balance is important. I tend to take a long view on balance. For instance, when I'm writing a book, I can sacrifice friends, family, and fun because I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. So my life can be terrifically unbalanced in favor of work, but I know it’s only temporary. When I travel, I hardly do any work. I'm fine with knowing projects await me after I'm done goofing off. Try to be as proactive as you can about when you will deliberately unbalance your life in favor of work or leisure. And take a long view – life will balance out over the longer term. And oh yea, keep that light at the end of the tunnel nice and bright!”

Judith Kolberg – Award-winning Professional Organizer & Humble Thought-Leader

More Research : Less Tolerance

“In 2014, I want to do more family history research. Over the past couple of years I've become more serious about genealogy research (and started the blog Organize Your Family History), but I'm still not spending as much time researching my family history, as I'd like. I'd also like to tolerate small annoyances less. Life gets so much better when I take the time to move or reorganize or fix things, rather than just put up with them. This year, I want to take action to change, rather than passively tolerate, the little things that make me frustrated.”

Janine Adams, CPO®, CPO-CD® – Professional Organizer, Speaker, & Blogger

More Planning : Less Guilt

“I believe that more planning will be the key to balance for me in the New Year. Deciding in advance how I’ll spend a particular block of work time will make me more productive and profitable, and I’ll experience less guilt from not focusing on my priorities. Similarly, by planning my leisure time, I’ll face less frustration because instead of simply frittering those hours away, I’ll be filling them with pleasurable activities, which will bring me more enjoyment and fulfillment.”

Janet Barclay – Blogger, WordPress Website Designer, & Virtual Assistant to Professional Organizers

More Connection : Less Commitments

“Focusing on more and less helps me prioritize.  We can’t have more of everything in our lives.  In 2014, I want more time with colleagues and community through social media and community involvement. I plan to spend less time on larger commitments and more on smaller ones that require just one or two small tasks for completion.”

Ellen Delap, CPO® – Professional Organizer, Productivity Consultant, & Blogger

More Flexibility :  Less Doubt

“Sue West’s ‘life balance’ ingredients: intuition I listen to, understanding of who I am and what I stand for (values, strengths, character), acknowledging that I have choices more often than I don’t have them, embracing that I have limited time on Earth and in my days, wisdom, creativity, perspective to respond but not react, and curiosity so I challenge, learn and grow. Mix ingredients differently each day to sustain whatever balance looks like in those moments. When I 'have' balance, I feel it. When I don’t feel it, I know how to get back there.”

Sue West – ADHD & Life Management Coach, Certified Professional Organizer in Chronic Disorganization®

More Veggies : Less Carbs

“A few years ago, my family and I decided to change the mix of ingredients in our diet. We decided to subtract out one meat-based dinner per week, and add in one vegetarian meal per week. Over time, we have cut out most of the red meat, pork and poultry from our diet. This has been great...except that we've gotten out of balance with carbohydrates. As we head into the New Year, one of my goals is to bring back the balance in my diet, by subtracting out some carbs and adding in more veggies and plant-based proteins.”

Aby Garvey – Professional Organizer, Author, & Online Class Instructor

More Playtime : Less Worry

“This past year I’ve been confronted with the inevitable endings and new beginnings that made me want to hide. My father’s passing and my mother’s failing health juxtaposed my twin daughters entering their junior year and madly preparing for college. No dress rehearsal for parents of twins; it all happens at once. My coaching practice, growing parallel to my daughters, is demanding a new level of creativity, focus, and discipline. What I need more of are trust, playtime, and reaching out. I can do with less worry, doubt, and hiding. Key words for me; simple, clear, immediate, meaningful, loving.”

Yota Schneider  - Seasons of Change Certified Master Coach & Life Transitions Coach

Isn’t it fascinating how differently everyone answered the question? Responses ranged from specific to general, and from brief to more elaborate. I feel so inspired by their clarity and conviction. They will be wonderful guides as I define my next steps. What resonates with you? What would you like more or less of for this coming year? I invite you to to explore with us. Join the conversation.

Wishing you a happy, healthy, successful, joy-filled, New Year with your right mix of more and less!

Is it possible to find balance during the holiday season? This can be a stress-filled time between the parties, shopping, wrapping, and comings and goings of our loved ones. There’s an atmosphere of flux and movement. While perfect balance is an unrealistic goal, there are ways to navigate this time to encourage less stress and more joy.

1. Adjust – We often expect things to happen in a certain way...”our” way. Those expectations can extend to how we’d like others to behave and act. While it’s reasonable to have certain expectations (like you invite people to a party and if they say they’re coming, they’ll be there,) it’s unrealistic to expect that people won’t cancel at the last minute or ask to bring an extra guest. Life happens and things don’t always go according to our plan. Being flexible is a useful strategy. It will help reduce the holiday season stress.

2. Marvel – There are moments of joy to notice and embrace wherever we turn. From watching your children enjoy one another’s company, to seeing your holiday table filled with your family and friends, to smelling the sweet scents of burning candles, to tasting that first morsel of homemade apple pie, to laughing until the tears roll down your cheeks, the season offers many opportunities for joy-filled moments. Engage your senses and your heart. Focus on what you see, feel, hear, smell, and taste. Appreciate the joy.

3. Let Go – Especially with guests around, we want everyone to be happy, get along, and feel “festive.” Or, is that just me? Big surprise. We’re responsible for own behavior and moods, but we have no control over others. This time of year can include big transitions that are accompanied by questions and uncertainties. Our youngest daughter will graduate college soon, and our oldest daughter is making plans for the next part of her journey. While they know what they’re doing today, fast forward a few months and life will be different. We can give our emotional support, but we can’t live their lives for them. Focus on how you can help (if help is even wanted.) Then step back and let go. This will result in less stress for you and them.

4. Organize – We each have different ideas about what it means to be or feel organized. There is no one way of being, doing, or structuring our lives. However, figuring out what makes sense for you can greatly enhance how balanced you feel, especially during the holidays. For me, having easily updateable “party” lists, knowing where my entertaining supplies are stored, and making time to plan party details with my husband, help me to feel organized. Invest the energy and time in discovering the organizing strategies that will work for you. If you’d like help strategizing and implementing organizing solutions, call or email me anytime.

5. Select – We love to say, “yes,” don’t’ we? However, especially during this season (well, any season, really,) remembering the other option, “no” is just as important. There will be many invitations for fabulous events and parties. The options for fun are abundant. However, being selective about what you choose to do, will allow you to enjoy even more the events you do attend. It’s about finding your balance between “yes” and “no.” Look at your calendar. Consider your energy. Then decide.

6. Create – Getting your hands, mind, and body fully engaged in creative pursuits is a wonderful way to restore balance and reduce stress. During this season, there are many opportunities to engage in these types of activities, but you might not think about them in that way. A slight perspective shift can turn the most innocent of pursuits into creative adventures. Some of my recent creative play included making a new soup recipe, decorating the Thanksgiving table, writing in my journal, arranging flowers, taking photos, and playing Charades. There’s nothing quite like activating our creativity (in whatever form it takes) to energize us.

The holiday season is here. Do any of these strategies resonate with you? Do you have others to share? Come join the conversation.