Vacations are precious. Our normal lives get suspended for a time while we unwind and have adventures. These breaks in our routine are essential to help us recharge. I have a special love of beach vacations, which are low-keyed and conducive to relaxing, relaxing and more relaxing.

Isn’t it interesting though that in order to take these breaks, there is quite a lot of organizing that goes into being able to leave? Upon returning from vacation, there seems to be even more items to handle. We do our best to remain as long as possible in that unhurried vacation-mode, even with all the “to dos” calling out to us.

For me, I felt very appreciative for the help my family gave before, during and after our recent summer vacation. In order to get ready, everyone took care of packing their own bags, wrapping up their loose ends, keeping focused on our departure time and leaving the house mentally prepared for our long road trip.

During our vacation, they helped with grocery shopping, meal prep, clean-up, lugged things back and forth to the beach, modeled an appreciation for the here and now, participated in conversations, games, shared in the driving and provided an abundance of great music. All of this help enabled us to have a fun, stress-free time together. It wasn’t one person doing everything. We helped each other and that made our vacation more enjoyable.

Upon returning home, everyone unpacked, helped with laundry and focused on the many things that needed attention. As I write this, numerous things are vying for my energy. I’m mindful of the fact that during vacation, I allowed myself not to do. Now that I’ve returned, I’m working on doing one thing at a time, maintaining some of that vacation-calm and remembering that I don’t have to do everything myself.

What help can you enlist today to make your days less stressful?

Why is it that we do anything? The answer to that varies as widely as we do. We are not made from the same mold and what motivates you to accomplish your goals is different from what motivates your friends, kids or co-workers. It’s important to know what works for you because we all need something to help us move from place “A” to “B.”

Admittedly, I am extremely goal oriented. I think in terms of projects, short and long term goals. Sometimes just having a daily list of items I’ve set out to accomplish and knowing that by the end of the day they will be crossed out by my red marker is enough to motivate me to complete them. There are other times when my motivation works better if instead of it being visual (as in lots of red marker lines) it is time based. I play a “beat the clock” game with myself to accomplish something before a certain time so that I can go out and play. Wasn’t this a tactic our mothers used on us when we were small? I guess it was ingrained in my way of thinking. This often works well for me because as much as I like to get things done, I love to play even more.

A few weekends ago, in the true spirit of summer, we planned a day trip for Saturday. We were leaving around noon. So I woke up early to have breakfast, shower and get some work done. The fact that we were leaving at a specific time enabled me to focus on what I needed to accomplish. The added bonus and motivating force was that after I worked, I’d get to play and spend time with my family.

And play we did! There’s nothing like taking a day trip. One of my friends, Stacy Maxwell, writes a wonderful blog called “Backyard Therapy” exclusively about the value of going on day trips. The concept is that by stepping out of our normal routines and taking a break just for one day, our sense of well-being is restored.

Our day trip to the east end of Long Island did just that. While our girls are no longer little kids, we went to visit the Children’s Museum of the East End. My husband built some exhibits for them several years ago and we went to visit them in place. While it was fun to see his work, it was just as much fun watching our girls “play” at the museum. Dressing up was always a huge part of their childhood and they haven’t outgrown that yet. Their playfulness spilled over to us as we also enjoyed putting on tutus, pirate gear and firefighters’ jackets. Silly is good!

The day wouldn’t have been complete without having lunch outdoors, walking through the town, checking out an antiques fair, eating ice cream, touring the neighborhoods and seeing the ocean. I was amazed about the positive, rejuvenating effect our excursion had. It was a wonderful day! The idea of the trip provided me with the motivation to get some work done in the morning. The trip itself gave me time to reconnect, play and relax with my family. I was motivated to work by the notion that fun was at the other side. It was a win win!

As far as arrival time goes, I am usually on time or a little early. I’m also human, so of course there are times when I’m late. One recent rainy spring evening, I found myself in a unique time situation. I actually arrived to my destination an entire hour early. Since I expected to arrive just as the program began, I didn’t have any reading material or projects with me.

There I was alone in an empty auditorium with my cup of earl grey tea. I couldn’t believe that I had a whole hour to just sit and do nothing. So, I sipped, breathed deeply and smiled at this wonderful, unexpected gift. I felt light-hearted and giddy by the idea that there was nothing special for me to do except wait. This was unusual.

After relaxing a while, I pulled out some blank index cards to write about this experience. People began arriving. Just like being at an airport, I enjoyed people watching. Some entered the room quietly, while others came in with a big display. The decibel level in the once quiet room quickly began rising, along with the energy level. There I sat, still smiling, writing and enjoying my time gift.

I noticed that most people were busy doing something like conversing with friends, checking email, texting, talking on their cell phones, or switching their seat to a more desirable location. The room filled with busyness. Everyone around me was active. In fact, I too was no longer just sitting. I was writing.

Then my friends began arriving, so I quickly finished my thoughts, put away my pen, and enjoyed having some face to face conversation before the event began.

The program was a comedy competition that my younger daughter participated in. Teens from all over the county competed in a friendly night of comedy improv. One of the improvs about corn threw me into a fit of almost unstoppable laughter, complete with tears streaming down my face. I love to laugh with complete abandon and these kids provided me with plenty of cause to let loose. It was a great evening between the free time and the abundance of laughter!

The other day I was talking with my brother, Tod. He described to me the 25^th anniversary event he is planning for MIT’s Media Lab. For the celebration, they are creating a 25-hour day full of programs. Aside from this being a clever concept to build an event around, it made me smile at the thought of us actually being able to randomly add hours to the 24-hour day all of us have.

I began thinking about why we wish we could add more hours to our day. Two ideas came to mind. We either feel like we have too little time (as in 24 hours just isn’t enough to accomplish what we want) or we have too much to do. Either way you view it, on most days, many of us feel like we could have or should have done more in the time we had to manage. Thoughts like, “If only I hadn’t wasted so much time surfing the internet,” or “If only I had one more hour to finish this project,” or “If only I didn’t feel so completely overwhelmed with everything I’ve said ‘yes’ to.”

So being that we don’t have the ability to add more hours to our day, what can we do? Even though our commitments vary, it’s essential that we discover our personal balance between work, fun and rest. The mix will vary based on what is on your plate and feels most comfortable for you. But if you only work without any time to relax or have fun, you will quickly become overwhelmed.

The word “overwhelm” is one I hear most often from clients, friends and family. Frankly, while I write and think a lot about life balance, there are times when I too feel overloaded with all the things I want to accomplish or have committed to doing. I know that when I’m feeling this way, it becomes essential to return to one of my basics, which is reconnecting with nature. With spring in full bloom, lately I’ve spent more time by the rivers- walking, sitting, eating, and just being. There is something restorative about water. My mind quiets enough to simply focus on the scenery before me. The “must dos” and “should dos” take a back seat while nature works it magic, bringing me to a calmer, clearer place.

There’s nothing wrong with expecting a lot of yourself. But especially if you do expect a lot, it’s crucial that you also figure out how to rejuvenate yourself. So, whether it’s taking a walk somewhere green, slowly sipping a large iced tea, or doing nothing at all, it’s well worth your time to make time for you to stop, relax and restore.