This week is Thanksgiving. We’re experiencing a collective array of emotions such as sadness and disappointment because we can’t celebrate in person with our family and friends. Or, on the other end of the spectrum, we might feel joy and resolve that we’ve figured out new ways to mark the holidays. This isn’t a normal holiday season with the pandemic still in full force. I don’t know about you, but as someone who looks forward to our family tradition of hosting a large Thanksgiving gathering, I struggled with not having it this year.

Recently, during a conversation with our oldest daughter, Allison, she said that we’re experiencing a collective cognitive dissonance. What our heart wants and what our mind knows the safe choice to be is in conflict. In that one sentence, she summed up what I was feeling. This push-pull of what I wanted versus what I knew was the right thing to do. I’m not judging. People will decide what “right” means for them. For our family, it meant not having an in-person gathering.

How do we shift from a place of sadness to one where we can enjoy this season in the midst of a pandemic? I have a five ideas to help. I’d love to know what you are experiencing and planning, so please share your stories too.

5 Ways to Enjoy Pandemic-Time Holidays

Express Gratitude

We often refer to this time of year as the season of gratitude. Let’s focus on gratitude for what is, instead of what isn’t. We can feel grateful for the people we love, even if we can’t be physically together. Those who have found ways to safely gather, and we can be grateful for our smaller pods. Gratitude is present in our connections, love, good health, breath, and humanity. There is so much to be grateful for, even during a pandemic. 

Give Permission

My friend and colleague, Yota Schneider, offered a “Home for the Holidays” retreat to create a space for people to process their thoughts and feelings about this atypical holiday season. I signed up, and it was just what I needed. I felt camaraderie with the other attendees as we shared our challenges, ideas, and possibilities. Yota is so wise. She said, “Our capacity for love and celebration cannot be diminished.” She asked us to consider, “Can I give myself permission to celebrate in a new way?”  At that moment, something released within me. I wrote down, “Permission granted.  – Linda S.” That single question helped me open my heart and thoughts, and to gift myself permission to lean into celebration without judgment, doubt, or reservation.

“Our capacity for love and celebration cannot be diminished.”

— Yota Schneider

Get Creative

Maybe you’re like me, and you’re not having a large Thanksgiving gathering this year. My husband and I have hosted this holiday for many years, and it’s one we love and look forward to. To keep everyone safe, we knew it was a no-go. With help from our daughters, we figured out another way of celebrating. We’re having a virtual Thanksgiving meal with our daughters and their partners.

We’ll cook in advance in our own homes. We’ve exchanged one recipe each and will make those basic four recipes and then anything else we want for our meals. We’ll have the same “shared” food and some different dishes too- sausage stuffing from Steve, a special salad from Allison, brown butter cardamom cookies from Cassie, and cranberry sauce from yours truly. Then on Zoom, we’ll eat, talk, toast from our homes, and be together in a safe yet connected way.

We also set up two Zoom calls for the Friday after Thanksgiving to “be together” with our kids, siblings, nieces, and nephews.

Make Favorites

Aside from being with family and friends, Thanksgiving is about the food. I’m salivating just thinking about the smells and tastes of turkey, gravy, stuffing, cranberry sauce, sweet potatoes, and apple and pumpkin pies. Steve and I realized that we could still make our favorite dishes even if we didn’t have the entire crew over. Why not? Since it will just be the two of us, I thought that I should scale back and only make one pie. But I’m going to lean in, go for it, and make both. It’s not just about eating, but the enjoyment of baking too. We’ll have lots of yummy leftovers.

“The initial sadness for not being able to gather has morphed into positive anticipation for the ways we’ve reimagined the holiday.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO

Anticipate Celebration

The unexpected outcome is that I’m now enjoying texting, emailing, and talking with the family about our virtual get-togethers and plans. Everyone is happy that we’ve found a way to share the love and connect, even from a distance. My heart feels full, like it usually does before, during, and after in-person events. I’m feeling that holiday spirit and extra warmth that comes from spending time with our family. The initial sadness for not being able to gather has morphed into positive anticipation. I’m looking forward to the way we reimagined Thanksgiving this year. 

How are you doing with your holiday planning? Will your holidays be different this year, or the same as usual? What changes have you made? What are you looking forward to? I’d love to hear your thoughts and stories. I invite you to join the conversation.

When you embark on doing something new, what keeps you motivated? What helps you follow through with a project or new habits even when your goal feels big or hard to reach? I’ve said it before. The pandemic has encouraged experimentation and creativity for many of us. The uncertainty in the world created an atmosphere of trying things we’ve never done before. I’ve noticed a shift, “Life is so unpredictable, what do I have to lose?”

This brings me to a recent lesson I learned about motivation. In the spring, I planted a tiny herb and vegetable garden in our greenhouse. You can read more about it in my post, How Has Uncertainty Inspired Your Time to Be Different? After decades of convincing myself that I’m not a gardener and could not grow food, I felt motivated to try. The effect of the pandemic enabled me to try out a different script. It was a “Why not?” attitude, rather than an “I can’t” perspective.

“Motivation is in the growing.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®

The Story

My motivation to create a garden came from wanting to grow my own fresh food. It turned out that selecting plants, and finding the right spot to place them was fun and straightforward. I opted for a tiny garden, which wasn’t overwhelming. Each day I cared for the plants by touching their leaves, smelling them, saying “hello,” and watering them when needed. My daily reward is that I get to pick fresh basil, dill, or cilantro to add to our salads or mint to my iced tea. The herbs have been immediately available and continue to grow.

The cherry tomato plant, however, needed time. Does that sound familiar? How often do we need more time to grow? So while I was picking my basil and dill, I cared for the tomato plant, fascinated by its growing process. Little flowers appeared. From there, tiny green tomatoes grew. Finally, one single tomato turned a luscious bright red color. I sent photos to my gardener guru friend for her advice. She confirmed that it was picking and eating time. So with great delight, I plucked the tomato, cut it in half, and shared it with my husband. It was delicious, worth the wait, and so joyful to share it with someone I love.

Big Lesson Learned

My small garden has taught me that with an open attitude, care, and patience, not only will the plants thrive, but I will also grow. Motivation is in the growing. As you take on new projects or habits, it is the journey where the magic happens. And when you arrive at your destination, I hope that your ripe red tomato will be waiting for you to appreciate and enjoy.

What motivation lessons have you noticed? What motivates you? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation!

The woods grace the landscape in our backyard. We’ve lived here for almost 33 years and have joyfully watched as the colors and textures changed with each season. With the arrival of winter, the landscape is now bare with naked trees and little visible green. I eagerly await the first big snow when the quiet blanket of white transforms the woods. There is a time for each season. There are beauty and comfort in knowing that the seasons will change. Everything has its time. Appreciating and understanding this is an integral part of life’s balance. Nothing is permanent. Change is the only constant.

The Tree . . .

Over the years, we’ve lost many trees in our woods. Even the strongest of trees won't live forever. Several months ago I noticed that one of the tall trees was leaning more than usual. Each day it seemed to bend a bit more. Recently we experienced torrential rain with high winds. That did it. One dark evening, I heard a loud, crackling sound followed by a big, slow thud of the weighty trunk crashing to the ground. It wasn’t until the next morning that what I heard was confirmed. I saw the 50-foot tree toppled to the ground. Its time had come. 

The Bonfire . . .

Each year our friends have a winter solstice party, which we love going to. They build an enormous teepee-shaped bonfire in the woods. The fire is constructed from dead trees and limbs from their forest. The dead trees are repurposed to create this fantastic blaze that gives new energy to our thoughts and aspirations as we stand together in the dark of the winter night. We reflect about the past year. We toss into the fire experiences and ideas from the previous year that we’re ready to let go of. We also throw into the blaze new intentions for the coming year. Then the fire burns the wood completely taking with it our collective thoughts and bringing us a sense of balance and freedom. We square away what was. We ready ourselves for what will be.

As you conclude your year, consider how everything has a life. Are there projects or ideas that have run their course? Is it time to let them go? Are there projects you’re in the middle that need more attention? Or have they run their course? Are there new ideas that are begging for your energy and creativity to breathe life into? Nothing is meant to be forever. What will you let go of? What will you continue? What will you begin as one year ends and the new one starts?

I’d love to hear your thoughts. Come join the conversation!

Life is full of distractions. These distractions often have noise components that come from external and internal sources. With all of the noise and distractions, it can be especially challenging to focus on what’s most important. Noise in our environment can be overpowering. It’s essential to make time for quiet and stillness. By doing this, we create white space and breathing room. From this quiet we connect with our minds, bodies and others and ready ourselves for creativity, learning, and a fresh start. The start can be for the next moment, day, month, project or interaction.

There are many ways to bring quiet into your days. Some of us need more quiet than others. I’ve noticed that as I’ve aged, my need for quiet has increased. What have you noticed?

Mindfulness practices including meditation or integrating mindful living are ways of finding those quiet puntuations during your day. Another path to quiet is spending time with nature. You can be an observer and just sit, watch or listen. You can surround your being by taking a walk outdoors. You can set aside some time to be still and focus on the in and out movement of your breath.

All of these practices will quiet your mind, quiet your being, and give you some pause from the daily noise and distractions.

Enjoy this quiet moment . . .

How do you find quiet? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Come join the conversation!