Change can be challenging. We often want the result, yet we aren’t ready to do the necessary work. That work can involve rethinking beliefs or letting go of physical or emotional clutter. It’s incredible how quickly change can happen when you harness time, motivation, and opportunity. At home, I recently experienced the confluence of these forces. I was surprised and delighted by what transpired. I hope my discoveries will help you with the change you seek.
The story begins with some context. We had the joy of having our youngest daughter and husband-to-be here for her birthday, our anniversary, and Father’s Day weekend. Due to COVID-19, we hadn’t seen them in many months, and it was incredible to be physically present. My heart is still full. To prepare, we quarantined and minimized outside exposure pre-visit, stayed healthy, and felt confident about being together.
One of our conversations was about their upcoming fall wedding. It’s no surprise that due to the pandemic, they altered their plans. They will have a small wedding hosted at our house with a virtual component. During our discussion about how to accommodate the social distancing concerns for the few in-person guests, we laid out chairs in our greenhouse, where the ceremony will be to visualize how this will work.
“It’s incredible how quickly change can happen when you harness time, motivation, and opportunity.”
A bit of background is helpful. Our greenhouse has been used for many things. It was a space to ride tricycles or do rainy day picnics when the girls were young. We used it for Cajun dance parties, a place to display the porcelain sign collection, and the bar location for holiday gatherings. It is a workspace for my husband’s woodworking machines and tools, a place to keep our Barber’s chairs, and, most recently, a room to actually grow plants.
To allow proper social distancing in the greenhouse for the wedding guests, we needed more empty space. Approximately half of the room was filled with equipment, wood, and miscellaneous items that were no longer working or used. There were “someday” project supplies being stored too. Since Cassie and Matthew were over, they offered to help my husband, Steve, to move his equipment so we could increase the floor space for guests.
My husband is a talented man with many skills and hobbies. He’s also a collector of numerous things, including large equipment. And while he’s willing to let go, this isn’t easy for him. He enjoys collecting, and the Boy Scout in him likes to be prepared. Also, he has emotional attachments, as do I, to some things from the past. Believe me, I get it.
However, to my great surprise, during our discussions about moving “the stuff in the greenhouse,” it became clear that he was ready to let go of a few things. The decluttering began with one or two items and turned into him releasing a large quantity. So many things went. I placed ads on Craigslist and Facebook Marketplace for people to pick up items for free. Within a few hours, most of the curbside piles were gone.
The Confluence of Three Forces That Encourage Change
Time.
So why was Steve able to let go and allow this change to happen after almost two decades? It turns out that time helped him get ready. You can’t push people before they are willing. He recognized that the items that had been useful and relevant were not anymore. He felt happy and lighter when he let things go. We’re both still smiling. I am so proud of him for his willingness to ask some hard questions, make big decisions, and let go.
Motivation.
Steve was highly motivated because we needed more space for the upcoming wedding ceremony. Never underestimate the value of a compelling motivation such as a significant life event (i.e., wedding, divorce, job loss, move, new baby) to facilitate decision-making and change.
Opportunity.
Cassie and Matthew were physically here, which presented an opportunity to do the work. We weren’t expecting it, but they offered to help. They were non-judgmental and gracious about talking things through, supporting Steve with his decisions, and schlepping stuff to the curb. Thank you, Cassie and Matthew! We feel more wedding-ready.
Enjoy this 20-second time-lapse video Matthew took during a portion of the greenhouse clear-out. The actual time we worked took many hours.
Has time, motivation, or opportunity influenced a change you’ve experienced? Are there ideas that resonate with you? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation!
