Photo by Linda SamuelsYears ago I heard Dan Thurmon speak at a NAPO conference. He is a dynamic, entertaining speaker and author that juggles, flips, and rides unicycles while delivering his keynote. His book, Off Balance on Purpose, challenges the unrealistic goal that life should be balanced.

Much of my writing focuses on finding a balance that’s right for you. The idea of feeling balanced 100% of the time is unattainable. It’s not even desirable.  The search for balance is a constant negotiation between a state of unrest or chaos and that feeling of calm or flow. It’s essential to experience both calm and chaos. They each serve a purpose.

Without some tumult, we become complacent and too content. We stop searching for solutions or growth possibilities. I’m certainly an advocate for knowing how to just be, but that’s within the context of long-term growth.

With abundant chaos, we become so stressed and ineffectual that we can easily ignore our basic needs for self-care. If life becomes a constant state of activity with no time to restore, think, or just be, we lose our focus and energy.

So how does one find that right balance? The balance I’m referring to is really your particular mix of tumult and calm that fits your life, goals and needs at any given point in time. Thinking back to raising our family, life was far more hectic than it is now. The stretches of feeling like things were “out of whack,” were much longer than the calmer parts. Now being an empty nester, while life is still full, the periods of calm are longer. The mix has changed.

Balance between these extremes is not a done deal. It’s really a matter of what we choose to focus on at any given point. In this photo of the forest, the foreground is sharp and clearly delineated, while the background is foggy and hard to see. This mirrors our lives. The shift between chaos and calm comes from what we give our attention to. As our needs change, so does our focus. Pay attention to the clues, which will help you identity when it might be time for re-balancing.

When do you know it’s time to shift your balance? What are your clues?

One of the beautiful things we can express as human beings is gratitude. Incorporating it regularly in your day can help you keep perspective and balance. Especially now as Thanksgiving approaches, gratitude thoughts permeate my mind.

There is so much to be thankful for. As we know, life is far from perfect. We are far from perfect. However, in the midst of life’s busyness, pausing to acknowledge the positive enhances our joy and brings us peace. There is much to be grateful for. Take time to reflect and appreciate the wonders that surround you. Luckily, there is an endless supply once you put “gratitude” on your radar. It’s impossible to capture everything. I’d like to share a few from my list.

Linda’s List - I Am Grateful For:

• Loved ones here and gone. I love and appreciate my family and friends. Some are in my daily life, others are at a distance, and many have passed away. No matter where they are, they are always with me. I am grateful for them and don’t hold back from letting them know how I feel.

• Sun and rain. On sunny days, my entire being feels lighter, colors are more vibrant, I feel less bothered by small annoyances, and I can see more clearly. When the rain comes, I love those days when I can stay inside with a good book, hot tea, and a warm, soft blanket.

• Working and non-working parts. When we're young and when we age, our bodies aren't always able to do as we wish. We either lack the skills or have lost them. There's the time in between when are bodies work as we expect. It’s so easy to take our health for granted. I appreciate all that is working right now.

• Sweet and sour. Nourishment is essential to our existence. I am thankful for the basics, but also am passionate about certain tastes, textures and scents. The short list includes coffee ice cream, almost anything chocolate, black licorice jelly beans, concord grapes, all berries, tomato with mozzarella and basil, grilled salmon, and lemons. I am grateful that my senses are working and allow me to fully appreciate these foods.

• Activity and quiet. Our house was always a bevy of activity as we raised our daughters. We encouraged them to invite friends over and loved having a full house. They are now both away at college. We have become empty nesters and it’s much quieter. Soon the house will be lively again for the holiday. I am grateful for both the energy of a full house and the quiet of less.

• Organization and chaos. As a professional organizer, you might think I only like extreme order. In fact, I am grateful for both order and chaos. I appreciate a certain amount of organization with room for a dash of chaos. I’m grateful for the dichotomy and flow between the two.

• Status quo and change. I recognize that change is essential for growth. I go through periods where I’m actively stirring the pot. But there are also times where I am able to just let things simmer and be. Both have value.

• Structured and unstructured days.  More of my days have a plan to them then not. I function well with a schedule. To balance that, I also need days that let me just “float.” I can wake up when my body is ready, without a special agenda, and do whatever I feel like. I can do or not do. I need and am grateful for both types of days.

• Old and new friends. There’s a folk song we used to sing when I was a kid that went, “Make new friends and keep the old. One is silver and the other gold.” There’s nothing quite like our “old” friends where we share a history. They knew us when. We share a lifetime of bonds and experiences. With new friends, we are in the discovery mode. The ties are in the making.  I am thankful for all of my relationships.

What are you feeling grateful about right now? Take a gratitude break. There’s space below in the comment area to share your thoughts.

Like a tea bag steeping, sometimes you need to wait and let the flavor get stronger before you can take a sip. The same holds true for our beginning of the year plans. Sometimes we are ready to dive in and go full speed ahead on January first. We are determined to keep the resolutions that we’ve set like saying “no” to desserts, exercising three times a week or finally getting control of our chaos. At other points, we need more time to let our ideas deepen before we can move forward.

There are many possibilities. What if you’re almost half way through the first month of the new year and you’ve already indulged in “several” desserts, you haven’t exercised even once a week and organization is nowhere in sight? Or, what if you find yourself halfway though the month and you haven’t yet determined what your resolutions or goals are?

I’m personally straddling the two camps. Several weeks ago, I made a list of possible 2011 goals. I haven’t officially committed to any of them. I simply compiled a list of things that I am considering. The list includes items such as redo my Oh, So Organized! website, design and build a new desk area, try some new recipes and spend more time with friends. Ideas are still being added. No actual resolutions have been made or goals set because I’m collecting and processing. I’m getting closer, but need more time to decide what I want to pursue most.

An odd thing is happening, though. Since the thoughts are on this list, I’m aware of whether I’m doing or not doing any of them. So, when I say, “yes” to a sweet, I’m justifying that it’s fine to eat because I haven’t yet committed to “no desserts.” I am conscious, but not guilty because I’m still in the deciding mode.

Whether you’ve set your goals and slipped, contemplated your goals but not committed or are working hard to keep on track, let’s remove all guilt out of the equation. Remember that you’re human. There is no perfect, especially when it comes to making changes. Give yourself the time you need to figure out what you’d like to accomplish. Along with that, give yourself a dose of forgiveness as you experience the ups and downs of striving towards your goals.

What 2011 ideas are you contemplating?