Navigating Choices & DecisionsChoices are all around us. The small and large decisions we make are influenced by our perspective, experiences, and way our brain processes. The complexity of how our minds work means that some decisions we make are logical and some are not. Some are healthy and some are anything but.

Decisions can be made boldly, carelessly, doggedly, creatively, emotionally, logically, laboriously, or freely. We can toss a coin or spend days deliberating about options. Decisions can be made in solitude or collaboratively. Simple choices like, “What color shirt am I going to wear?” are juxtaposed by more challenging questions such as, “Which room should I organize first?”

According to the Time article, “Making Choices: How Your Brain Decides,” neuroscience journalist, Maia Szalazvitz, said that each day we’re asked to make thousands of small and large decisions. She refers to a California Institute of Technology study that examined how the brain decides. The study indicated that there are two distinct networks for decision-making. One network analyzes the overall value, the risk versus the reward of a specific choice. The other network guides behavior.

Sometimes the decisions we make are obvious and sometimes quite gray. This past weekend, I had the honor of being on a “Professional Ethics” panel, sponsored by the NAPO-NY chapter. We talked about the NAPO Code of Ethics and also shared various scenarios and sticky situations, which required discussing the ethical choices we might make. It was fascinating to hear the diversity of ideas, perspectives, agreements, and disagreements. But again, it all came back to choice. Do we take action, and if so, what? Or, are there times when it’s appropriate to do nothing, and taking no action is the choice?

What I love most is that we have the ability to choose. These choices are available to us at every moment. Our yeses, nos, and maybes of today, define our tomorrows.

I’d love to hear your thoughts. How do you decide? What allows you to be comfortable or satisfied with your decisions? What have you learned from making decisions? Come join the conversation.

Inspiration can come from the most unexpected places. Who knew that a quick overnight trip this past weekend would provide me with an idea for this week’s post?

After a long drive to Maryland, my husband and I arrived late Saturday night at the Courtyard Marriott. We had a family gathering to attend the following day.  We settled into our room. I got into bed and was about to read when I noticed a small pad of lined paper next to me on the bedside table provided by the hotel. The top of the pad had a title with a question below it:

“ACCOMPLISHED LIST.

Much more gratifying than a to-do list, don’t you think?”

I always enjoy surprise messages like this. I’ve seen ones on Yogi tea bag tags, the tape on the wrappers that hold the sandwiches together at Starbucks, and of course in fortune cookies. These notes sometimes make me laugh, or pause and think.

What about the “Accomplished List?” I love the possibilities that the pad suggested. Instead of writing down the things that you want to, need to, have to do on a particular day, it’s suggesting that you take inventory of what you already accomplished. If you are like me, you didn’t complete everything on your list, but you probably did a lot. We often tend to focus on what we didn’t do rather than what we did do.

What a lovely way to end the day, week or month with focusing on the positive! To-do lists are great for setting expectations, reaching goals, and imagining possibilities. The “Accomplished List” encourages you to reflect on and appreciate what you chose to complete.

It might be the beginning, middle or end of your day. Pause to jot down what you accomplished today, yesterday or last week. What are you most proud of? Come join the conversation to add your thoughts and share your most satisfying items from your accomplished list.

Jane Pollak

Jane Pollak "Ask the Expert" interview about Possibility ThinkingThe “Ask the Expert” interview series connects you with industry thought leaders and gives you the opportunity to participate in inspiring conversations. This year we’ve spoken with Dorothy Breininger about success, Dr. April Lane Benson about enlisting help, Leslie Josel about motivation, David Allen about time management, Peter Walsh about clutter, Sheila Delson about letting go, Laura Berman Fortgang about next steps, Judith Kolberg about change, and Sue West about fresh starts. This month I’m thrilled to bring you business coach, Jane Pollak, to share her insights and experience about possibility thinking.

While Jane and I have never met in person, I have been following and hearing about her for many years. I have several colleagues that rave about her unique ability to help entrepreneurs clarify, focus, and connect. When I contacted Jane to invite her to be interviewed, she generously accepted. You are in for a treat. My deepest gratitude goes to Jane for taking the time to join us. Before we begin, here’s more about her.

Jane Pollak is one of the Northeast’s foremost coaches of entrepreneurial women and a living example of how to turn a passion into a thriving business. Jane’s story is an odyssey that led her from remote craft fairs and customer rejections to an invitation to the White House and appearance’s on NBC’s Today Show. The lessons Jane learned along the way led her to share her story and give advice to struggling entrepreneurs, travelling the country and beyond. Her book, Soul Proprietor, is not only inspiring and motivating for the entrepreneur or small business owner, it is a handbook of lessons that one could apply to the business of everyday life. You can connect with Jane on Twitter, LinkedIn, Facebook, blog or website.

Linda Samuels:  You’re an expert in helping women entrepreneurs “achieve uncommon success.” What are some ways to create an environment that nurtures possibility thinking?

Jane Pollak:  It’s obvious to everyone looking on what lights you up. But we rarely give ourselves permission to listen deeply to what we really want. Sharing your dreams and visions with one or more other like-minded souls is like putting Miracle-Gro on your garden. It will flourish. Having others reflect their belief in you back to you in a group is powerful.

Be aware of how you language your vision. Eliminate words like “should” and “try” which, subtly diminish our intentions.

Linda:  What might get in our way?

Jane: Other people’s needs. Women are born nurturers and caretakers. Johnny forgot his violin. Your elderly mother needs to have cataract surgery. It often falls to you to take these tasks on, but it may not be necessary, and it most definitely CAN be done on YOUR schedule. I’ve had clients who are desperate to write, create, you fill in the blank, and are unable to put two hours together in their day.

At some point, you need to stake a claim for yourself. Some confuse self-care with being selfish. I don’t adhere to that. I believe that the example you set for your families, friends and colleagues is worthy of the risk it takes to do that. Johnny can experience the pain of his forgetfulness, and you can take your mother for surgery on a day that works for you. Once you get into the habit of scheduling time for YOU, there’s no turning back and it becomes the norm, not the exception.

Linda:  What are some techniques or questions to ask for imagining possibilities?

Jane:  A typical one that has remained evergreen for that reason is: If money, health, location and family obligations were not an issue, what would you really like to do? Or, what would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail?

Many women will not even allow themselves to fantasize about possibilities for fear of failure or fear of success. It’s a loaded question and requires a lot of personal development work to get there.

A talented coach will be able to deeply explore your vision once they’ve broken through the layer(s) of resistance. What blocks us is not lack of talent as much as putting many obstacles in our way.

Linda:  What have you observed about the relationship between letting go and possibility thinking?

Jane:  They are mutually beneficial and must co-exist. It would be challenging to have possibility thinking without letting go…of preconceived ideas, demands, guilt, worry, etc. If you want to paint a great masterpiece, you may have to let go of having an immaculate household. I heard a wonderful saying once that has stuck with me for nearly 20 years: Housework, if done correctly, will kill you!

Linda:  What has been your most significant personal challenge around embracing possibilities?

Jane:  Getting divorced at age 63 after a 38-year marriage. While I was comfortable knowing I could support myself and be of value for another few decades, I am a relationship person and had to embrace the possibility of finding love in my 60’s—which I have. My self-talk had to be tamed – Men are only looking for younger women. All the good men are taken. Etc.

Linda:  Is there anything else you’d like to share about possibilities that I haven’t asked?

Jane:  Yes. I could not, nor would I advise anyone else, to do this at home alone! Support is vital in every aspect of our lives. When it comes to possibility thinking, it’s what will get you through the rocky road whether it’s someone to hold your hand, have your back or encourage you to continue to follow your dreams. They can get lost very quickly if you venture out alone.

Thank you, Jane for sharing your wisdom about possibility thinking. There are so many riches here including the uplifting words such as “flourish,” and “vision.”  I love your calls to action like give yourself “permission to listen deeply,” share your dreams with “like-minded souls,” be mindful of how you “language your vision,” "stake a claim for yourself," or learn how to tame your self-talk. These ideas exude possibilities.

I invite you to join Jane and me as we continue the conversation. We’d love to hear your thoughts about possibility thinking. Which ideas resonate with you?

What a special time of year. Having just returned from being away this weekend in St. Louis for an ICD (Institute for Challenging Disorganization) board meeting, I was amazed to see the shift in fall colors. In just a few short days, the landscape in New York had changed yet again. That’s the magic of this season. I also noticed how possibilities were visibly present in many ways. I discovered them on different types of pages.

Blank Pages

This past weekend, I began writing in a new journal, since I finished my last one several weeks ago. I’ve been consistently keeping journals for over 40 years. On the plane back from St. Louis, I made my first entry. I opened the book and saw many blank pages ahead. As I wrote, I recognized that these empty pages, while blank were filled with possibilities. The pages will eventually include successes, failures, joys and sadness, struggles, wins, seed ideas, and dreams realized, observations, experiences, feelings yet to be discovered, explored and imagined, history, love, family, friends, ah-has, quiet reflections, ponderings, complaints, cheers, lists, travels, and gratitude. Possibilities will one day ink the currently blank pages.

Full Pages

Shifting from blank pages to full ones, I just began reading Todd Henry’s new book, Die Empty. While the title is a bit morbid, the book is in fact filled with hope and possibilities. Henry says that living a meaningful life includes not just thinking about what’s possible, but taking action steps necessary to realize your dreams and make a significant contribution. It’s a possibility guide with concrete and creative ideas. He includes great thought-provoking questions including, “Did the work I did today really matter?”

Open Pages

Today began with an early morning walk along the Hudson River. While there were many things on my “to do” list, the day felt open and brimming with possibilities. As I walked, I breathed deeply, stopping to take in the waft of hot pink, citrus-scented flowers and slight saltiness of the sea air. I felt the bright, warm light and cool breeze accompany me as I moved. The river ebbed and flowed as I journeyed down the path stopping to photograph and just enjoy the view before me. Birds chirped, trains chugged, and water sloshed against the rocks. Before me was an open landscape of possibilities.

What will you discover on your possibility pages? Are they blank, full, open, or something else? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Come join the conversation.