The past few weeks I’ve been writing and thinking about reasons and ways to enlist help from others. A few days ago, I was asked a question by business coach, Dr. Shannon Reece, which made me think about this from another perspective. For her upcoming blog, she asked entrepreneurs, “What is your single best personal and creative example of ‘ME time’ that you use regularly, which allows you to completely step away from your business and recharge?”

While it’s important to understand and identify when we should and need to ask for help, it’s just as essential to know how to be our own source of help. Here are some ideas to consider:

7 Ways to Help Self

1. Re-Sync.  There are times when we feel like we’ve gotten off track. Our electronic devices might be in sync, but we aren’t. We may feel sad, agitated or anxious. How do you bring yourself back to center? Perhaps watching a comedy, writing in your journal, cooking a new recipe or riding your bike will work. Some like to keep a “Feel Good” file where they add encouraging letters, notes and inspirational quotes they’ve collected. When they need a lift, they pull out the file to shift their perspective.

2. Balance. A funny coincidence was that as I sat down to write this post with my cup of Yogi Tea, the hangtag on the tea bag was this quote, “Work, but don’t’ forget to live.” This is a great reminder that while each of us has our “work,” it’s important to develop other parts of our self for a better life balance.

3. Organize.  Creating perfect order is not necessarily what organizing is about.  Organizing means creating just enough organization to support your daily needs. Small changes can make a big difference. It might mean organizing your make-up drawer, folding and putting away the clean laundry, reviewing and prioritizing your “to do” list the night before or unloading the dishwasher. Reigning in some of that daily chaos and stress can have positive affects.

4. Review the Basics. This may seem obvious, but simple things like drinking enough water, eating a well-balanced diet, exercising and getting enough sleep are important ways to take care of you.  It’s essential to listen to your body. Getting the basics in balance is key. We all have challenges. Exercising regularly is one of mine, which I continue working on.

5. Declutter. Letting go can be difficult, but releasing clutter can be helpful. The clutter might be physical such as overflowing clothes closets, piles of magazines and catalogs or cabinets full of rarely used kitchen gadgets and appliances. The clutter could also appear in over scheduled calendars or too many thoughts running around our heads. Focus on simplifying your spaces, time and minds by allowing the unessential to be released. This is one of the most significant ways you can help yourself.

6. Reframe. There is a standard term used in the coaching industry, NCRW, which means Naturally Creative Resourceful and Whole. This concept encourages coaches to view their clients in this positive, proactive way. While the coach is there to help guide and ask questions, it’s the client and not the coach that is capable of discovering all the answers. Adopting this perspective shifts us away from trying to “fix” someone. If we start thinking about ourselves in this way, we become empowered to find our own solutions.

7. Rejuvenate. Going back to the where I began, let’s take another look at Dr. Shannon Reece’s idea of “ME time.” None of us have an unlimited supply of energy. We have to restore it or we’ll have nothing left for our family, friends, business, activities or self. There are many ways to help refresh. Maybe sleeping late, spending all day in your pajamas, walking in the woods, sitting by the river, enjoying a leisurely cup of coffee or tea helps you to get your energy back. Finding ways to restore your reserves is the best type of help you can give your self.

Please join in the conversation. Do any of these ideas resonate with you? What are your best ways to help yourself? I’d love to hear from you. 

Do you prefer to do everything yourself? Do you feel guilty asking for help? You're not alone. I've been there too.

There are many reasons why we don’t enlist help, even if we really need it. The next time you’re feeling stressed, stuck or overwhelmed, consider some of these ideas about the positives of asking for help. I'd love to hear your experience about a successful time that you enlisted help.

6 Reasons to Enlist Help . . .

1. Not Just for Babies.

We recently spent a summer weekend socializing two eight-week old puppies for Guiding Eyes. There was no question that these babies needed our help. However just because we become adults, it doesn’t mean that we stop needing assistance with certain things.  Lose the guilt. Pay attention to times when getting help might be the solution.

2. Return the Favor. 

Are you more comfortable giving than receiving help? When you ask people for help, it gives them the opportunity to “pay you back” in kind. They will feel better about receiving from you if they know you will in turn accept their help too.

3. Just 24 Hours.

We only have 24 hours a day. One-third of those hours are needed for sleeping. Enlisting help can free up your available time to focus on what’s most important. That might mean more time to spend with your family, friends, new goal or hobbies.

4. Fun is Good.

For those that enjoy the company of others, getting help for certain tasks, can make the mundane more fun and doable. Particularly if you tend to procrastinate, adding the social piece into the mix can be productive and motivating.

5. Bring in the Professionals.

Sometimes the type of help we need is beyond what our family or friends can offer. Or, we might be uncomfortable asking them for certain kinds of help. That’s why we hire others such as plumbers, electricians, accountants, therapists, coaches, doctors, lawyers or professional organizers. There are resources for finding all types of professionals. If you are organizationally challenged, you can find an organizer through NAPO (National Association of Productivity and Organizing Professionals), ICD (Institute for Challenging Disorganization), or Linda Samuels, founder of Oh, So Organized!

6. Discover New Perspectives.

We only know what we know. There are serendipities to enlisting help. When we invite someone in, we learn new ways of doing and looking at things. This is particularly useful when we are feeling stuck or don’t know which step to take next. Be open to the possibilities a fresh perspective can offer.

I’d love to hear your thoughts. Join in the conversation. What has been a positive “enlisting help” experience you’ve had?

Vacations are precious. Our normal lives get suspended for a time while we unwind and have adventures. These breaks in our routine are essential to help us recharge. I have a special love of beach vacations, which are low-keyed and conducive to relaxing, relaxing and more relaxing.

Isn’t it interesting though that in order to take these breaks, there is quite a lot of organizing that goes into being able to leave? Upon returning from vacation, there seems to be even more items to handle. We do our best to remain as long as possible in that unhurried vacation-mode, even with all the “to dos” calling out to us.

For me, I felt very appreciative for the help my family gave before, during and after our recent summer vacation. In order to get ready, everyone took care of packing their own bags, wrapping up their loose ends, keeping focused on our departure time and leaving the house mentally prepared for our long road trip.

During our vacation, they helped with grocery shopping, meal prep, clean-up, lugged things back and forth to the beach, modeled an appreciation for the here and now, participated in conversations, games, shared in the driving and provided an abundance of great music. All of this help enabled us to have a fun, stress-free time together. It wasn’t one person doing everything. We helped each other and that made our vacation more enjoyable.

Upon returning home, everyone unpacked, helped with laundry and focused on the many things that needed attention. As I write this, numerous things are vying for my energy. I’m mindful of the fact that during vacation, I allowed myself not to do. Now that I’ve returned, I’m working on doing one thing at a time, maintaining some of that vacation-calm and remembering that I don’t have to do everything myself.

What help can you enlist today to make your days less stressful?

Fortunately for us, we have the ability to perform multiple roles. When it comes to “help,” sometimes we are on the giving and other times on the receiving end. In my book, The Other Side of Organized, chapter eight is about enlisting help. Why did I choose to write an entire chapter on this topic? Many individuals are challenged by the organizing piece in their lives. Along with that struggle, they feel uncomfortable asking for help. Through writing, I hope to alleviate some of that conflict by reframing how we think about it.

At first glance, as a parent, wife, daughter, sister, aunt, friend, volunteer, solopreneur, professional organizer and author, I more often view myself in the giving rather than receiving role when it comes to help. But as I examine this more closely, I realize that every time I am the giver of help, in return I receive help in the form of growth, understanding, satisfaction and more.  When I actively enlist help, I get the benefit of another person’s focus, expertise and compassion to assist me in an area I struggle with. When looked at this way, help becomes a two-way street. In the best cases, both parties benefit from the exchange.

You might be organizationally challenged to the degree that it’s having a negative impact on your daily life, your relationships or your job. You feel frustrated because you’ve tried to get organized on your own many times, but are dissatisfied and unsuccessful with your efforts. Perhaps this has been a long-term challenge of months, years or decades. By reaching out for the right type of help from a professional, family member or friend, you will not only be receiving assistance, but you will most likely be helping the other person in exchange. The helper in return may become more compassionate, creative, motivated and inspired. Who knew that asking for help was actually a gift to the other person?

As the summer is nearing its end, much of my time has shifted to helping our youngest daughter organize and prepare for going off to college. We’ve been going through all of her belongings and memorabilia to decide what stays home, gets released or goes with her to school. I am most definitely helping her to organize. But in the process of going through the 18 years of school work, photos, essays, cards, clothes, games, books and more, Cassie is most definitely helping me to prepare for this next phase of my life. She’s giving me the chance to relive some wonderful memories of her growing up, laugh a lot about things I’d forgotten, shed a few tears, enjoy seeing how much she’s grown and assist her mom through this transition.

So, in helping her, my girl is helping me. It’s a beautiful two-way street.

I’d love to hear about your giving and receiving experiences!