An essential part of getting a fresh start is being able to let go. It’s challenging to move forward when we hold on to life’s physical stuff, habits, thoughts, or relationships that don’t support who we are or where we’re going. Even though we may intellectually understand this, doing something about it isn’t always so simple. Our belongings often come with emotional attachments, which make it more difficult to part with them. Of course, there’s no need to let go of things just to let go. However, if you’re in a transition, want less stuff, or are clearing out your parents’ home, then releasing to move forward is an integral part of that process.

Last week, I was invited back as a guest on WNYC’s “All Of It” show with the fabulous host, Alison Stewart.

Click here to listen to the podcast.

Listeners had the opportunity to call in and ask their most pressing organizing questions. While we talked about many things, the focus of this show was primarily on clearing out your parent’s home. Alison started the show by reading a passage from her book, Junk, which she wrote after clearing out her parents’ home of 55 years with her sister and friend.

One of the ideas we discuss in the organizing industry is “safe passage.” What we’ve noticed is that when we help our clients find meaningful homes for the possessions they want to let go of, it eases their emotions and attachments and helps them feel good about releasing them. So, for example, giving items to family, friends, or charities that benefit or that the recipients appreciate provides this safe passage. 

Many excellent resources were discussed during the WNYC show. I’ll share those along with some additional ones.

Resources for Letting Go

1. Art Supplies – Materials for the Arts is a New York organization that collects art supplies, art books, audio and video equipment, beads, jewelry, fabric, flat-screen TVs, musical instruments, office supplies, paper, picture frames, power tools, trim and sewing notions, and more. They make the materials available for free to nonprofit organizations with arts programming, government agencies, and public schools.

2. Books – Better World Books is a for-profit e-retailer that collects and sells new and used books online and matches each purchase with a book donation to Book-for-Book. Sales generate funds for literacy and education initiatives in the United States, the United Kingdom, and around the world. Visit their website to find a book drop box near you.

3. Clothing and Household – Many places accept donations of clothing, household items, books, furniture, toys, electronics, and a variety of things. Depending upon your location, some of these organizations will pick up your items. Resources include:

• Furniture Sharehouse

• Goodwill

• Housing Works

• Vietnam Veterans of America

4. Medical Equipment and Supplies – The Afya Foundation supports ongoing health missions worldwide with a focus on disaster relief. Recognizing that after surgery, illness or death, families often have unneeded medical supplies and equipment, they accept these supplies and give them a second life by donating them to others in need. They will take underpads, adult diapers, gauze, IV supplies, manual wheelchairs, walkers, canes, crutches, and more.

5. Records (LPs and More) – WFMU is having a Record Fair April 26-28, 2019 at the Brooklyn Expo Center. They are collecting interesting and eclectic vinyl records and CDs. They will use the records to fill in their music library and generate funds for the station. 

The Archive of Contemporary Music is a non-profit that collects and preserves recorded popular music and music-related materials from around the world. This includes all music formats (LPs, CDs, 8-tracks, etc.), music-related memorabilia, posters, personal papers, press kits, sheet music, songbooks, books, videos, and more.

6. Recycling and Trash – When clearing out a home, heavy lifting will be involved. The Junkluggers are an excellent resource for taking away trash, donations, and recycling. They aim to donate as much as possible and will provide you with a tax-deductible receipt. When I cleared out my parents’ home of 60 years, they were my go-to source.

7. Reflections – Letting go often involves the physical process of removing things from their environment. In points 1-6, I provided you with resources for doing this. Another aspect of letting go is navigating the emotional part. Like Alison Stewart, I also cleared out and sold my parents’ home this past year. It was an emotional process and a big learning experience. It’s one thing to help others, it’s quite another to manage a project like this for your own family. It gave me a deeper appreciation of the emotions and challenges my clients experienced when I helped them. While I wrote many posts during this process, for my final post in the series, How to Say Goodbye and Let Go With Love, I shared ten gentle ways that I learned to let go. 

Behind the Scenes at WNYC

To listen to WNYC's "All Of It" January 18th podcast with listener questions, their stories, my responses, and more, click here. My segment is the first 20-plus minutes.

To move forward and get a fresh start, letting go happens. Your focus and energy will be on physical possessions or emotional attachments. It helps to have tools and resources. Do any of these resonate with you? Do you have other favorite letting go resources? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Join the conversation!

You’re in good company if you’re thinking, “How is it already the middle of January?” Thoughts of glitter, parties, and intentions are on our minds. Yet here we are, halfway through the first month of a new year. You might be wondering how to make the best of your fresh start, especially with the time flying by.  If you’re still cleaning up from the holidays and getting those last decorations put away, great! In fact, getting back to square one is an integral part of preparing for a new beginning. Clearing allows us to remove obstacles and focus positive energy towards our next projects and paths.

While the first few weeks of this year have been a whirlwind, there were several external and internal things I did which helped me improve and create energy during this time of year. I’m curious if any of these ideas resonate with you? 

Edit Clothes

Typically, I edit and organize my clothes twice a year. I do the spring/summer and the fall/winter reviews. Even though I had done the fall/winter sort months ago, I noticed that I still had many clothes I wasn’t wearing. So if they weren’t being worn, what were they doing taking up valuable physical and mental space? And while that may seem like an obvious question, answering it wasn’t as simple. So I went further to figure out why I wasn’t wearing them. Was it they just didn't fit? Had they been replaced by something similar that I liked better? Was it just that when it was time to get dressed they never got picked? If I’m not wearing it, why am I maintaining it?

Do you know about the 80/20 rule? We only wear 20% of the clothes that we own. That’s because we have our favorites. So using the “favorites” criteria, I looked again and released more items from my drawers and closet. I’ll continue to pay attention as the winter progresses. Getting dressed will be obstacle-free with fewer decisions and more breathing room for my clothes.

Clear Files

While I have a lot of digital files, I still collect a fair amount of paper. The papers are stored in filing cabinets, binders or boxes, depending on what they are. By the end of the year, there is a group of financial papers that get cleared out to make room for the current year. Typically I’ll do the big paper purge the last week in December or early January. Most of the papers relate to taxes. I shred and recycle as much as possible and move the keepers to a storage area away from my prime office space. Last week I cleared my files. By the end of the year, my drawers get quite full. It becomes challenging to access what I need easily. It felt incredible to remove the old and regain my space. Now every time I open the file drawers, I have an “ahhhh” feeling. There’s no struggle, just room to file and retrieve what I need. This simple act of clearing the paper signaled my fresh start “ready for anything” attitude. 

Calm Mind

Many of you know that I meditate daily. I begin and end my day with this practice. While the point isn’t to clear my mind of all thoughts, it does help calm my mind to be more present and available to others and myself. Every day I have a mixture of positive, neutral, and negative emotions and experiences. My mindfulness and meditation practice provides me with a supportive base. It helps me appreciate the full experience of living.  I love learning about mindfulness through reading, practicing, experiencing, attending workshops, and talking with teachers and practitioners. Last week, I had the pleasure of learning from one of my favorite guides, Amy Reyer Ph.D., who led a Contemplative Meditation workshop, which was the third class in her Art of Well-Being series. Meditation practices can be done in many ways and don’t all involve sitting still on a cushion with your eyes closed while focusing on your breath. I like to experiment with different meditations. Each time I practice, that fresh start is activated. I’m able to press the reset button to pause, focus, learn, tune in, and go forward in a calmer, more open way.

To create optimal conditions for a better beginning, clear your internal and external obstacles. Edit and release what is no longer of value. Edit and release the things that are holding you down. Create space for the belongings and thoughts that support you. Clear to boost to your fresh start.

What are you ready to clear? What obstacles are you about to remove? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Join the conversation!

What’s the purpose of embracing a fresh start? Is it to have a do-over? Is it useful because it helps you to be poised, ready, and open for new opportunities that appear? Is it a burning desire knowing that it’s time for a change? What says “change” better than clearing the decks?

Last week, I had the opportunity to be a guest on WNYC’s “All Of It” with the fabulous host, Alison Stewart. You can click here to learn how Alison and I met. On her show we talked about organizing, overwhelm, mindfulness, New Year’s intentions and more. Listeners had the opportunity to call in and ask me their most pressing organizing questions. Alison has an impressive audience of listeners, and they asked great questions. I thought it would be fun to do a follow-up post so that I could expand on my responses to some of the issues.

How to Make the Best of Your Fresh Start

Get Fresh With Your Paper Stuff

Even though we live in an increasingly digital world, we still manage to amass a lot of paper. It takes up valuable space and mental energy.  Listener, Bill, expressed this when he called in. He felt overwhelmed with his backlog of documents and wanted some advice about what to let go of.

The general rule (although definitely check with your accountant who understands your specific situation) is to keep tax back-up records for seven years from the date of filing. Keep copies of your tax returns indefinitely. If there isn’t any tax or other financial implication like capital improvement records, or proof of a significant purchase needed for warranty purposes, most papers can go. Think shred, trash, out-of-here now! Also, for going forward, consider getting records digitally and filing them in electronic file folders. That will reduce future paper clutter.

For some other thoughts about the benefits of paper clearing, check out How to Use That Energy Boost You Get From a Fresh Start.

Get Fresh With Your Move

One of the biggest motivators for new beginnings is when you’re preparing to move. Listener, Margaret, called in to share about the tremendous decluttering and letting go work she’s been doing in preparation for her upcoming move. She’s already donated many bags of stuff to local charities. Go, Margaret! While she has been able to let go and have less, she was concerned about maintaining her “less stuff” approach after the move.

While a massive amount of decision-making goes into moving and choosing what to give away, sell, or keep, that process doesn’t end after the move. In fact, most people make a second or third edit post-move. Pay attention to how it feels to own less. After you move, you’ll have a new perspective on space and your belongings. Continue the editing process until you are “right-sized.” To maintain your home, build in some editing time every six months or so to review and release.

For additional thoughts about managing clutter, check out Decisions, Clutter & Tag Sales.

Get Fresh With Your Family (but in a good way!)

My heart went out to the listener, Alexandra, who called with a question about how to best help her mom with hoarding behavior. I was moved by the amount of support, love, and willingness the family has given her mom. The challenge is that while her mom has an awareness of her problem, she hasn’t been able to make any behavioral changes. Attempts by the family to help “clear out” have caused the problem to worsen. The family is at a loss as to how to best help.

Hoarding disorder has a mental health diagnosis. While it’s beautiful to have a supportive family, it’s essential to build a team of experts that can help like therapists, social workers, and other professionals. However, no team will be effective without a willing participant. 

One of the best books for loved ones of those that hoard, is Digging Out – Helping Your Loved One Manage Clutter, Hoarding & Compulsive Acquiring by Michael Tompkins, Ph.D., and Tamara Hartl, Ph.D. It is written for the family to understand better the disorder and how to best help. 

Another excellent resource is The Hoarding Project. They offer nation-wide consultation services, education, and support geared towards people with hoarding behavior, family and friends, and professionals.

Behind the Scenes at WNYC

To listen to the WNYC “All Of It” January 4th podcast with these listeners' stories and more, click here. My segment is the first 20 plus minutes.

Are you in the fresh start mood? How are you making the most of yours? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Join the conversation! 

There’s a lot of hoopla surrounding the start of a year. Why is that? It’s the timely intersection of three fresh start motivators and temporal landmarks- new day, month, and year. They form an enhanced boost, a fresh start effect, which incentivizes you to clean your slate and reset your goals and intentions. Of course, you can activate a fresh start at any time, but it’s especially useful to harness the power of the New Year. Today I’ll focus on three ways to do this. I hope that one of these ideas will resonate with you and help you create a magnificent year.

Intent

The process of goal setting can be frustrating. We might not be planners. We might get easily distracted. We might quickly become discouraged if we make our goals too lofty, complicated, or numerous. So instead of planning every change, minute detail, or date of when “x” will be accomplished, how about considering this other idea? Pick an overall intent for your year and let that be your guiding force as you make decisions each day. You might already have an idea, but if not, below are a few questions to nudge your thoughts. 

• What do I want more of this year?

• What do I want less of this year?

• What is my one word for the year?

• Where do I want to visit this year?

• What am I ready to let go of?

• What will I say “yes” to?

• What will I say “no” to?

We had our close friends over for dinner on New Year’s Eve. I randomly put a card with one of these questions at each place setting. There was no expectation for answering them as a group or even introspectively. However, to my great delight, our friends wanted to talk about them. It made for some deep conversations. My card said,  “What will I say ‘yes’ to?”  I decided to use this intention for my year. I’ve interpreted it to mean that I will lean into interesting opportunities and openings with minimal deliberation and doubt. On the first day of the year, I had the chance to exercise that intent, and it was quite liberating.

Flow

Positive psychologist, Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, discovered and defined the flow state as an

“optimal state of consciousness where we feel our best and perform our best.”

We talk about achieving flow, trying to attain flow, or feeling in the flow. On New Year’s Day, my husband and I took a leisurely drive on the winding roads in the Hudson Valley. It was quiet. We stopped several times by various water sources and were mesmerized by the undulating movements and soothing sounds. Some water rushed along their paths. Some streams were more still than others. All were unencumbered. They easily moved from one point to the next, navigating their paths with confidence and ease. It made me think how so many of us struggle with blocked paths. Our calendars, spaces, and minds are obstructed by “stuff.” There is no flow. We’re weighted down. Our movement is slow and challenging. 

For this year, focus on flow. Think about these impediments and ways you can open the gates. Maybe we turn the idea of organizing upside-down this year. Think flow. Think simplicity. Think better movement, less heaviness, and more freedom. As you activate your senses and pay mindful attention to the flow of your days, notice where you feel stuck. How can you create more flow this year?

Rainbows

Just so you know, I hesitated about including rainbows in the title, let alone as a serious topic. Despite my reservations, for two reasons I decided to go for it. First of all, you’re an open-minded, accepting group of readers. Thank you for being the fantastic people who you are. Secondly, I had an extraordinary rainbow-related experience that felt timely and relevant. I wanted to share it with you. Those of you that know me, probably get that I tend to subscribe more to the “glass half full” philosophy. Recognizing that perhaps you’ll accept this rainbow mention as a natural extension to my optimistic tendencies. 

Above I described the drive that my husband and I took yesterday. The last stop on our journey was the Croton Dam. This magnificent structure built in 1907 and stretching over the Croton River is part of the New York City water supply system. It has incredible views all seasons, and I love walking across the top to see the changing landscape. Our walk yesterday didn’t disappoint. 

The water was in full force, so much so that I could feel the spray. The sun kept disappearing and appearing from behind the clouds. And then it happened. As the sun came out, an enormous, vividly colored rainbow graced the shore from the hillside of bare trees down to the white, rushing water. The colors sparkled and undulated in the light. We were totally captivated and knew we were witnessing something remarkable. We just happened to be there at this moment, on this day, the first day of the New Year. And what is it about rainbows? They are fleeting. They are gorgeous. And yes. They are magical. And they also symbolize happiness and hope. 

So the last idea of the year is this. Your New Year offers you a fresh start filled with possibilities and hope. Take a deep breath in of good intentions, of fresh air, of newness. Exhale as you relax and let go of all that’s holding you back.

I wish you all the best that life has to offer as you begin your new year.  

I’d love to hear your thoughts. What are you thinking about as you start your year? Did any of the ideas from intent, flow, or rainbows resonate with you? Come join the conversation!