I don't know about you, but while I love having choices and possibilities, too many can make me feel overwhelmed, stressed, anxious or distracted. There's a reason why most marketing strategies revolve around offering only three options or why consumers opt for three bids on home improvement projects. We want choices. We want enough information, but we don’t want to be overwhelmed by an overabundance of possibilities.

Think about the grocery store's cereal aisle. Talk about options. Not only are there hundreds of cereal types and flavors available, but also each type is available in many sizes. Unless you know what you want, just selecting a box of cereal can be intimidating.

What about when you're trying to organize, downsize, or let go of the thousands of things that you're emotionally attached to? Progress includes the many decisions we will make. It’s not just about what to keep or let go of, but why and where to keep our things or how and where to let go of them.

When possibilities abound and include variables that we have little to no control over, it becomes especially challenging to make decisions. So what can you do?

5 strategies that are particularly helpful when you’re struggling with decision-making

1. Find Sounding Board Buddy

It helps to have a good listener to talk through your options. The process of talking out loud can help you clarify the options. An added benefit is that your buddy might notice something you hadn't considered or ask a question that unblocks your thinking.

2. Exercise Flexibility

I mentioned earlier that we don’t have control over all of the circumstances surrounding the possibilities. The ability to have a plan or two while remaining flexible can help. When you are moving towards uncharted territory, you can't know with certainty the affect your decisions will have on the outcome. Remaining flexible let’s you choose more freely.

3. Identify Elements in Your Control

There are variables with all decisions. Some of those factors are within your control and most are not. Focus on identifying the parts you have complete control over. Work to resolve them. Move forward from there.

4. Sleep On It

There's nothing like a good night's sleep to help the brain relax. Sleep is a natural reboot for the mind and body. Waking up in a restful, ready state will help you approach the new day with clarity of thought.

5.  Decide, Then Let Go.

Choosing a path or making a decision is the work. It's the stressful part. Once you make your choice, breathe deeply and then let go of the outcome. Experience and live with the outcome for some time. If it isn't working, you can re-evaluate based on the new circumstance, and make the next decision.

I'd love to hear your thoughts. What are helps you navigate the multitude of possibilities? Come join the conversation.

Dan Thurmon "Ask the Expert" interview about Life BalanceWe’ve had an exciting year of guests join us for the “Ask the Expert” interview series. We’ve given you a venue to connect with industry thought leaders and the opportunity to participate in inspiring conversations. This year we’ve spoken with Dr. Howard Gardner about being wonderfully human, Jane Pollak about possibility thinking, Dorothy Breininger about success, Dr. April Lane Benson about enlisting help, Leslie Josel about motivation, David Allen about time management, Peter Walsh about clutter, Sheila Delson about letting go, Laura Berman Fortgang about next steps, Judith Kolberg about change, and Sue West about fresh starts. To complete the year, I’m thrilled to bring you speaker, author, and coach, Dan Thurmon, to share his insights about life balance.

I’m a big Dan Thurmon fan! I’ve attended hundreds of presentations on a wide range of topics. Dan is one of the most unique, charming, and energy-filled presenters I’ve ever seen. I’ve had the pleasure of hearing him speak and perform twice at NAPO conferences as he motivated, enlightened, and persuaded us all while juggling large objects, tumbling through the air, and riding tall unicycles. Dynamic doesn’t begin to describe Dan! If you ever have the opportunity to hear him...GO! My gratitude goes to Dan for juggling his schedule and taking the time to join us. Before we begin, here’s more about him.

Dan Thurmon is the author of two books, Off Balance on Purpose and Success in Action, a renowned speaker, and a recognized expert in delivering peak performances – on stage and in the workplace. As president of Motivation Works, Inc., he has worked with hundreds of clients and delivered thousands of presentations worldwide. Dan helps organizations and individuals implement action plans and move confidently through transitions. You can connect with Dan on Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn, blog or website.

Linda Samuels:  People long for balance. I’ve heard you say that while that’s “intriguing and desirable,” it’s also “completely unrealistic.” Can you share more about that?

Dan Thurmon:  Life is fluid and ever changing, so we cannot attain “perfect balance.” Balance should not be a goal but rather a skill. We “balance” competing demands for time, energy and action. We make decisions and adjustments to help improve our connection to what matters most in life. But our day-to-day experience is and will always be “off balance.” And that’s a good thing! You must be “off balance” in order to learn, grow, and contribute. That’s why I advocate living Off Balance On Purpose. This means that you own your circumstances, initiate changes, and act deliberately, not reactively. Also, we are more effective and engaged when our actions and lives are infused with purpose and meaning.

Linda:  Aside from being a world-class speaker, coach, and author, you are also a consummate performer and juggler. You use juggling concepts to help your audiences understand your message. What is your favorite juggling analogy about life balance?

Dan:  Well thank you! Juggling is a fantastic metaphor that teaches us, among other lessons, that we should look for “patterns” that connect the objects – or, our objectives. Instead of trying to isolate aspects of your life, look for ways to integrate them into a cohesive “pattern of action.” The other analogy involves riding a six-foot-tall unicycle as I demonstrate that, in order to make forward progress, you must be off balance, leaning into the change and uncertainty. It’s scary, but also exhilarating, as you are harnessing momentum for change!

Linda:  What strategies are useful when we’re feeling overwhelmed and pulled in too many directions?

Dan:  First, seek to clarify your purpose. What are you really trying to accomplish, and why is it important? And I don’t have to tell you that being organized is essential to staying in control. I believe it starts with organizing your thinking instead of being constantly redirected by the next “urgent” task. Also, I teach people how to create and strengthen “lifelines” between the aspects of life that matter most: Work, Relationships, Health, Spiritual Growth, and Personal Interests. If you view these “five spheres” as competing with one another, you will fight a losing battle. When you see them as integrated or blended into a “pattern,” however, you begin to see how they can support one another and work in harmony.

Linda:  What has been your toughest personal life balance challenge?

Dan:  As a husband and father of two children (ages 14 and 10), it is a challenge when my schedule takes me on the road for days at a time. But my wife and I have worked over the years to strengthen the “lifelines” that keep us connected. Sometimes I travel with my whole family, or with one of my kids. We often talk about the places I am visiting and the clients I work with. I’ve also used both of my kids, Eddie and Maggie, in my presentations. That way they truly understand what I do and we stay more connected, even when we are apart. And of course, I schedule family time at home to be sure they know how much they mean to me.

Linda:  What is your most surprising discovery about being “off balance?”

Dan:  When you develop a comfort with uncertainty, you often find new, fantastic opportunities that you would have otherwise missed completely. Life is exciting and ever changing, and when you find the “flow” of life and are able to engage its power, like a surfer atop a breaking wave, you will meet people, go places, and serve others in unexpected, wonderful ways.

Linda:  Is there anything you’d like to share about life balance that I haven’t asked?

Dan:  We’ve been told by well-intentioned experts that should we one day achieve a “balanced life,” we will be happier. But life is not a hypothetical future. It’s an undeniable present! And when you embrace uncertainty and choose to live Off Balance On Purpose, you will begin to experience greater happiness and control right where you are.

Thank you, Dan for sharing your wisdom about balance, or more accurately, living purposely off balance. So many of your ideas resonate with me from reframing balance not as a goal, but a skill, to acting deliberately instead of reactively, to developing a comfort with uncertainty, to leaning into change. I love your focus about now being, the “undeniable present,” rather than a “hypothetical future.” I could go on and on. But instead, let me open up the conversation to all of you.

I invite you to join Dan and me. Come share your thoughts about life balance. Is it illusive? What does balance look like to you? Have ideas sparked a perspective shift?

Janet Barclay, Organized AssistantAre you ready for another dynamic conversation with our popular “Ask the Expert” feature on The Other Side of Organized blog?  This year, we’ve enjoyed inspirational dialogues about motivation with Dr. Shannon Reece, time management with Julie Morgenstern, clutter with Lorie Marrero, letting go with Geralin Thomas, next steps with Yota Schneider, and change with John Ryan. This month as we shift our focus, I’m thrilled to bring you virtual assistant and helper extraordinaire, Janet Barclay to share her wisdom about enlisting help.

Janet and I met through our social media channels about two years ago. Some of her friends knew some of my friends and our connection was born. Janet is a wonderful, generous promoter and people connector, hosting a monthly blog where she invites organizers to share their best posts on specific topics. My deepest gratitude and thanks goes to her for all that she does and for taking the time to join us. Before we begin, here’s more about Janet.

Janet Barclay was a professional organizer from 2002 to 2008, during which time she developed a passion for creating websites and newsletters and began providing these services to her organizing colleagues. When she realized her true calling was in the area of web design and virtual assistance, she stopped offering organizing services and now specializes in blog design and support for professional organizers. She manages and writes for several blogs, including Your Organizing Business, where she shares tips for new and experienced organizers and hosts the monthly Professional Organizers Blog Carnival. When she’s not at her computer, she enjoys reading, watching movies, and healthy cooking. You can connect with Janet on Twitter, Facebook, Pinterest, website, or blog.

Linda:  As a professional organizer turned virtual assistant you’re an expert on encouraging others to enlist help. What are some of the benefits your clients experience from outsourcing tasks and projects?

Janet:  Many clients have me proofread their website content, blog posts or newsletter articles. Even good writers make occasional spelling or grammar mistakes, and making sure these are cleaned up before the text is published ensures that they put forward a professional image and makes a better first impression to prospective clients, media representatives, and anyone else.

Some of my clients don’t have the technical skills required to build and maintain a website or blog, so by delegating that work to me, they don’t have to devote time and energy to learning how to do it themselves. Even those who are tech savvy benefit, because they have more time for serving their own clients, and can therefore earn a higher income and achieve greater satisfaction with their work.

Linda:  If someone is unsure about getting help, what do you suggest?

Janet:  Consider what will have the biggest impact on your time and stress management if you were to remove it from your own to-do list: it may be tasks that you dislike, those for which you lack skills, or those that will be least expensive for you to pay someone else to do.

It’s often less stressful to start with a small standalone project than to hand over responsibility for an entire part of your business all at once. That will get you used to relinquishing control, give you a taste of the benefits of outsourcing, and find out whether you and the service provider are a good match.

I realize that for a lot of business owners, outsourcing work for the first time can be as scary as a parent leaving a child with a sitter for the first time, but delegation is as vital to the growth of a business as time away from the parent is to a child’s development. I know how liberated I felt after deciding to outsource my bookkeeping, and many of my clients have expressed similar feelings.

Linda:  Finding the right fit when searching for help can be challenging. Do you have any tips?

Janet:  When you’re talking to different virtual assistants or other service providers, ask questions about your specific needs, such as "What experience do you have working with [a particular software program, online service, or industry]?" In many cases, it’s worth paying a higher rate for someone with expertise in a particular area, who can also offer suggestions to market and grow your business that you may not have thought of.

Even more important than cost is compatibility between you and the person you choose to work with. It's important to discuss expectations up front – both yours and theirs – including how work assignments will be handled, turnaround time, and communication during the assignment. If you're going to need same-day turnaround, or if you want to be able to contact your VA by phone or Skype without scheduling something in advance, make sure he or she will be able to accommodate that.

Linda:  What has been your biggest personal challenge around seeking help?

Janet:  I haven’t always been diligent about documenting procedures and carry a lot of information in my head. That makes it difficult to delegate certain tasks, because if I’m too busy to do them, it’s just as hard to make time to explain to someone else what has to be done or to write out steps for them to follow.

Linda:  Is there anything you’d like to share about enlisting help that I haven’t asked?

Janet:  Life is to be enjoyed, so if a particular task is draining you of energy, whether physically, emotionally or mentally, why are you doing it? There is someone out there who is probably better at it than you, and who even enjoys it, so do yourself a favor and let them take it off your plate!   

Thank you, Janet for your wonderful honesty, insights, and strategies about enlisting help. Your advice that “life is to be enjoyed” resonates with me. If we can delegate to free us up to do what we do best, and delight more in the time we have, why not relinquish control?  I invite all of you to join Janet and me as we continue the conversation. What are your enlisting help successes or challenges?

John Ryan, The Life Change NetworkChange expert, John Ryan shares more perspectives about change in this two-part interview. In Part 1, John talked with me about many things including successfully navigating and choosing the meaning of change. The conversation continues as he shares more insights with us. Before we begin, here’s some background about John.

John Ryan, MBA, MSW, PhD is the co-founder of The Life Change Network and creator of The 7% Solution.  He is a professional speaker who provides consulting and coaching to individuals and organizations throughout the world. You can connect with him on Twitter, Facebook or his website.

Linda: What has been your biggest personal challenge around change?

John: The biggest challenge for me in relation to change also happens to be a challenge that I believe most of us struggle with and that is identifying what we need to change, when we should change it, and how should we change it.

When we do anything in life, we do the best we can with what we have.  And so if we’re not producing the results we want, what we’re doing is not good enough. But how do you know what to change, when to change it, and how to change it? 

Those questions are huge.  And if we don’t know the answers to those questions, we don’t change.  We simply keep doing the same thing over and over hoping for a different result, which of course, never comes.

And this is why it is so crucial to have a coach.  All top performers have coaches and mentors, someone to give them feedback. It is hard to give yourself feedback because we can’t see things the same way an outside observer does because we’re too close. 

With all the education and training that I’ve been through, I can tell you that the biggest return on investment has always been from my coaches.  I can look at success in different areas of my life and attribute it to the coaches that I’ve worked with because the results from coaching are that immediate and profound. 

And the reason coaching is so effective is because coaches help you identify what to change, when to change it, and how to change it.  And those three issues relate back to what we talked about in Part 1: strategy, desire, and resources.  The strategy is the what, the desire affects when, and the resources are the how.

If you start a business and you’ve never started a business before, it makes sense to find someone who has been through that process successfully.  What was their blueprint?   What was their strategy?  Learn from their experience and you can accelerate your results. 

“Learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t live long enough to make them all yourself.”                

- Eleanor Roosevelt

This really is the core of The 7% Solution which is what I teach through my training and coaching.  What is it that the top 7% of performers do that the bottom 93% don’t?  What is the difference that makes the difference?

When to change is really controlled by our desire.  As you mentioned, people can either embrace change or fear it.  And to some degree, we all have a little of both inside of us. 

And this conflict creates hesitation.  So we put off following our dreams, we put off going for it 100%.  A good coach will assist you in resolving that conflict so that we get out of our own way and start laying the foundation for success.

How to make a change is largely impacted by your resources too.  I’m not just referring to money, although that certainly can help.  A resource is anything that can assist you in accomplishing a goal. 

Having someone to bounce ideas off of can be a resource.  Experience is a resource.  Coaches are a resource.  And coaches assist you not only in making changes but also hold you accountable for those changes so that you stay the course and don’t get sucked back into the old habits that were not producing the results.

So the biggest challenge around change is knowing what to change, when to change it, and how to change it.  And although I’m constantly working on developing my own awareness of what’s working and what’s not working, I typically use coaches, and I have a few in several areas of my life, to give me the feedback that I need.

Linda: What is the most surprising discovery about change?

John: The most surprising discovery about change is that it doesn’t have to be hard.  We make it hard.  We hold onto our beliefs, we hold onto our behaviors because they have worked for us in the past.   And since they worked in the past, we’re confident that they’ll work for us in the future.

Unfortunately, the present and the future are different from the past. So what worked then is not necessarily going to work now.  Again, why we resist the change is because of the security issue.  We do XYZ to be successful, it works, and we think to ourselves, “Yes, I’ve got it figured out.” And then we hold onto that pattern for as long as we can.

If we can begin to let go of the safety of the past and understand that the only safety is the ability to adapt to the present, then we truly can find safety and security in the notion that we can adapt to and overcome anything.

Linda: Is there anything you’d like to share about change that I haven’t asked?

John: One thing that I always want the people I work with to know is that we have two choices in life.  We can either be at cause or we can be at effect.

Being at cause means that you are responsible for your life.  Being at effect means that you are not responsible for your life and that everything that happens to you is out of your control.  That’s it.  Those are the two choices we have.

And where we choose to fall has a big impact on the results we produce and our overall quality of life.  Let’s say you are planning a big company outing that is going to be outdoors to celebrate your employees.  The forecast is calling for rain.  What do you do?

Well, you could shake your fists at the heavens and cancel the event which is being at effect or you could get a large tent, buy a bunch of ponchos, or move it indoors which are examples of being at cause.  We can’t control the weather but we can control our response to it. 

Or if we really want to have some fun, perhaps you could get a really big slip-n-slide!  Think about it, when was the last time you jumped into a puddle?  Did you ever do that when you were little?  Back then rain was fun.  But now, rain makes you wet and cold, messes up your hair, etc.

And that’s really what we get to do in life.  We have two choices. We can run from the rain or we can jump in the puddle and splash around. 

Thank you, John for your invaluable thoughts about change. I invite all of you to join us as we continue the conversation about change. What are your thoughts or questions about change?